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Love Well

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I love love!  Especially the process of falling in love.

The romantics among us will agree, there’s just something about the intensity of the feelings we experience when we fall in love for the first time. It’s exciting! The joy is over the top. The doubt is nerve wracking. The loneliness of separation heart-breaking. The sensations of falling for someone — who’s falling for you at the same — are soaring!

For the above reasons, I’m a huge, goofy, tearful fan of romantic movies and TV shows and books. Which explains why I became a romance writer. I spend my work days telling tales of people falling in love.

But I live my real life with someone I’ve loved for a long time. Loving someone close to you (whether it be a parent, relative, friend, child) over the long haul in a non-fictional world is not always very full of excitement, joy, and soaring sensation. Instead of ‘falling in love’ we could call it ‘trekking together in love’ over a long, sometimes monotonous, sometimes hard stretch of life.

I was twenty-one when I married my husband.

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It’s somewhat astonishing to me that I was confident enough and/or crazy and misguided enough to think that I was ready to choose my husband at that age. But I did. And then we spent the first four years of our marriage living overseas in fabulous places. It was like an extended honeymoon.

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Eventually we returned to the sates and settled into our long trek, a mortgage, and three kids. We’ve been married now for twenty-one years which means that I’ve been married for half my life. (!!)

My years of marriage haven’t made me an expert on the topic of how to ‘Love Well’ over the long haul. But, looking back over our relationship, I can see how His Highness (my affectionate nickname for my husband) has gone the distance and loved ME well.

He’s given me a lot of gifts. He’s taken me on a lot of nice dinners and trips. He’s said lovely things to me. He’s done the right sorts of things on many, many Valentine’s Days.  But none of that is what has meant the most to me. In thinking about how He’s loved me well on the trek I came up with….

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#1. Be a friend. My husband is my best friend. We disagree. In fact, I sometimes accuse him of disagreeing with everything I say just for the fun of it. I’ll say, “Let’s have chicken for dinner.” And instead of saying, “Great,” he’ll immediately say, “Let’s have fish.” But, you see, we’ve built a deep, trusting friendship. We like each other. We’re not mean to each other. We’re loyal friends.

#2. Laugh. I love the quote from Joanne Woodward about her long marriage to Paul Newman. “Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.” Ladies, Paul Newman was gorgeous when they married. Yet it was the laughter they shared that she valued most over time. I feel the very same way. Laughter is worth pure gold!

#2. Listen. His Highness listens to me more than any other person in my life. There are plenty of times where I’m talking and have to ask him to pause the TV or put down his book so that he can really HEAR what I’m saying. But he always does. And then he asks follow up questions and poses his <always strong> opinions. Then he does a lot more listening.

#3. Believe. Love “believes all things” according to Corinthians 13:7, ESV. His Highness has supported me in every possible way — verbally, physically through a hug or a shoulder or a hand that’s reached out to grasp mine. He’s offered financial support, moral support, kid-babysitting support so I could work. But most of all, he’s just… believed in me. Has there a been a person in your life who’s made all the difference because they had faith in you? A parent, a teacher, a coach, a friend? Then you know how life-changing, how God-giving, that is.

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Our family.

Let’s find ways to love those closest to us well over the long trek by being a friend, by laughing, listening, and steadfastly believing!

I’d be delighted to hear how someone close to you has ‘loved you well’! Please share.

p.s. I’ve added some fun, practical ideas re: how to show love this Valentine’s Day to my Holidays board on Pinterest in case you’re in the market for some inspiration.

 

Did you know that some friends and I are currently offering a Valentine’s Day giveaway? To enter for the main prize go here.

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Isn’t this sea glass jewelry pretty? I love that the pendant has a heart carved into the glass.

We’re also offering a side prize of a sea glass pendant and earrings (shown on right) plus a 2 pound box of See’s Chocolates!  You can enter for the side prize by visiting each of the six ‘Love Well’ blog stops in order and collecting a word at each stop. (Hint: the words will be in red.)

1. Visit Dani Pettrey by clicking here

2. Visit Rachel Hauck by clicking here

3. Visit Lisa Wingate by clicking here

4. Visit Katie Ganshert by clicking here

5. Visit Susan May Warren by clicking here

6. This is the final stop and my word is: WELL.

Once you’ve put together the complete sentence using all six words, enter it below in the Rafflecopter Box for a chance to win!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Becky Wade

Author at Bethany House
Becky makes her home in Dallas, Texas with her husband and three children. She absolutely loves writing funny, heartwarming, and inspirational contemporary Christian romance.
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Comments

  3. Becky I love your wedding photo. What a lovely bride you were and a handsome groom your husband made. Enjoyed your post today. My husband and I have been married 45 years now. This giveaway has been fun. Thanks for hosting it and thanks to the other writers who have also participated in this give away.
    Shirley

  4. Becky I love your wedding photo. What a lovely bride you were and a handsome groom your husband made. Enjoyed your post today. My husband and I have been married 45 years now. This giveaway has been fun. Thanks for hosting it and thanks to the other writers who have also participated in it.
    Have tried to enter contest but was not able to put sentence in because when I tried the link to put my name and address kept popping up. I put my name and email address and the sentence all in that space. Didn’t know what else to do.

  5. Hi Becky,
    Great post tonight …..I actually read it earlier today when I saw my newsletter but I enjoyed it so much that I simply had to read it again.:)
    Thank you for sharing your courtship and love with us (your readers) I thought your wedding photo was lovely and you made a beautiful couple…you looked gorgeous in your wedding gown along side your very handsome husband. I loved your family photo too. Nice photo of you in Western Aus (am I right?) brickbats to me if I’m wrong! Lol Mind you our weather is boiling, 41 degrees Celsius (105.8 F) in Adelaide today(we are now into early hours of Valentine’s Day) so an absolute scorcher coming up and more to follow (eyes rolling.) Guess that’s a good reason for not entering your comp…. the chocs would be melting moments by the time they arrived! I’d love the novels but don’t think I’m eligible for entry. Good luck to the winner ….what a great Valentine”s present! On that note, I’ll wish you both a very Happy Valentine’s Day and say “Good night/morning”:)

    • Yes, the photo of us in Australia was taken in Western Australia. Perth! How well I remember the summer heat in Australia, Rosie. ‘Boiling’ is a good way to describe it! I agree that the box of chocolates would not fare well in those temps. 🙂 A Happy (hot) Valentine’s Day to you!

  11. She who loves well lives well! I was married 2 days past my 16th birthday and was married 32 1/2 years when my husband passed away at the age of forty-nine. He has been gone 10 years now.

  12. This has been a great series with some essential truths. Thank you all for sharing from your hearts!

    • You’re welcome! I’m so glad to hear that you enjoyed the series of posts. It was a treat for me to participate in our blog hop and giveaway with the other authors involved. They’re wonderful women. I was blessed by what each of them had to say on the topic of ‘loving well’.

  20. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!! This has been a sweet series to glean from. God bless all of the wonderful authors and readers. Have a good one. 😉

  23. I put my sentence, name, and e-mail address in the link box at Rafflecopter above ~ love to you and your family ~ happy Valentine’s Day every day! Kathleen

  24. It wouldn’t let me put in the sentence.

    The sentence is” “She who loves well loves well.”

  25. Becky, I enjoyed getting this glimpse into your life and how your husband has loved you well over the years. I pray you continue to love each other well through the next twenty-one years!

    My list of loving well looks an awful lot like yours:
    1. Listen first
    2. Laugh often
    3. Comfort through tough days
    4. Share always

    Blessings!
    Andrea

  32. She who loves well lives well. How profound!!! Thanx for the hunt, it was fun!!! Loved the blogs on the way!

  33. She who loves well lives well.

    I put my name and email in the box as requested and then there was no space for the sentence so I hope this works!

  34. She Who Loves Well Lives Well!
    I agree completely.
    I love your post. You have a beautiful family.

  36. Love your wedding photo. My husband and I got married just after we graduated high school we were both 17. We are going on 34 years this year.
    She who loves well, lives well.

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