Recently I read the book Night by Elie Wiesel. In it he recounts his experience with his father in the Nazi German concentration camps at Auschwitz and Buchenwald in 1944–1945.
I find it amazing that anyone at all could survive the brutality that the Jews experienced during the holocaust. I couldn’t keep from wondering how Elie lasted two years in spite of beatings, starvation, freezing cattle car rides, and a forced march in bitter winter conditions.
All of the ruminating about the book got me thinking about how important our “mind frame” can be to our survival. Obviously, most people reading this blog won’t be facing the extreme deprivation the Elie did during the holocaust. We won’t even come close.
But many of us still suffer in a variety of other ways. The Christmas season can be especially harried and stressful. Some are facing terrible loneliness. Others are depressed. Still others face financial woes.
During our difficult days, how do we cling to life? How do we survive the “night” that we face? (perhaps not as extreme as Elie’s but no less painful).
This holiday season, how do we keep a positive “mind frame” and keep from sinking into a “bah-humbug” attitude?
1. Utilize the support of loved ones. Elie and his father relied upon each other to keep each other from giving up, especially at their worst moments. Simply having the other’s presence was often all it took to keep going.
However, too often the scales get out of balance when one side of the relationship does all the sacrificing and the other person does all the taking. Whichever side we find ourselves, we can look for ways to find middle ground so that we can give and take in a healthy, mutually beneficial way.
One of my daughters recently wrote a persuasive essay for her Grammar class about why children should do chores. Her first point said this, “Doing chores gives the kids a chance to give back to their parents for all that the parents do for them. Parents spend much of their time focused on their children, so by helping out their mother and father with miscellaneous little jobs, it can give the parents some time to do things they need or want to get done.” Wise words, right? 🙂
2. Don’t give up on prayer. Although Elie’s faith was shattered through his experience, he still acknowledged that prayer was a key factor in giving many of his comrades hope.
In my most recent release, Love Unexpected, Emma the heroine had experienced extreme hardship and starvation in the Potato Famine in Ireland. She prayed for God to save her mother from dying, but her mother died anyway. Through that experience, Emma gave up on prayer.
Later Patrick the hero says to her: “I find it incredible that God saves any of us. He doesn’t have to. But sometimes he chooses to . . . Maybe we should stop looking at why God doesn’t answer every prayer the way we think He should. But instead we should count it a blessing that He hears our prayers at all.”
3. Practice random acts of kindness. Often we get so enmeshed in the spider web of our own problems that we can’t see beyond the tangle in front of us. But reaching out to others helps take the focus off our problems for just a little while, helps us see that we still have something to contribute, helps us remember that life isn’t always about our own happiness.
4. Compare ourselves to someone worse off. We’re often told not to compare ourselves or our situation to others. But when we hear atrocities like the Taliban shooting 132 children to death in a school in Pakistan earlier in the week, we’re able to put our own difficulties into perspective.
This past year I read a book, Kisses From Katie, which is about an 18 year old American woman who goes over to Africa to work in an orphanage and ends up staying and adopting 13 homeless young girls. The book is amazing. Reading about the extreme poverty certainly makes me realize I have so little to complain about.
5. Don’t forget to dance (or laugh). I occasionally download a new song from I-Tunes as a pick-me-up. Usually it’s a positive, upbeat type of song. A recent song I downloaded was Christmas song, “Ding-Dong Merrily on High” by Rend Collective. I have to admit, that my youngest daughter and I start clapping, stomping our feet, and dancing almost every time we turn the song on. There’s just nothing better than dancing and laughing to stimulate positive energy.
6. Engage in a healthy hobby. Sometimes we need to take our minds off our troubles. It doesn’t hurt to distract ourselves from heartache for a short time. Reading and running are huge stress relievers for me.
7. Put visual reminders of hope around us. I’m not talking about crocheted pillows with words like “Home is Where the Heart Is.” While there’s nothing wrong with sayings like that, I like to personalize my reminders with inspirational quotes specific to my situation or Bible verses that I hang up in places I look at frequently (like the window above my kitchen sink).
What are some ways you face the difficulties in your life? What keeps you from becoming a Bah-Humbug during the holidays?
Jody Hedlund
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Courtney says
Thanks, Jody! What a well-timed post for me! I must admit, shamefully, that I have been getting stuck in the “woe is me” attitude. I needed this post badly. And I love the quote from your hero, Patrick. I have often prayed a simple prayer lately that has gone unanswered… such a simple, little thing, and I angrily said to my husband this morning, “That’s it! I’m not asking any more for this one thing.” That quote from your fictional character stopped me right in my tracks.
Perhaps this post is the answer to my prayer. My mind and thoughts needed to be redirected. Thank you, Jody. I needed this so much, if only to shake me out of my stupor.
Merry Christmas to you! Have a wonderful time with your family!
Jody Hedlund says
Hi Courtney,
Sometimes it’s amazing how God answers our prayers, like this post being God’s answer to you! 🙂 I just love that! Sometimes he nudges us from places we least expect it!
Merry Christmas to you too!
Shirley Chapel says
I like to play Christmas carols and songs that lift my spirit. I also just like to sit and look at the tree at night , with the lights lite and take in the beauty of the season. Also a good Christmas story helps me not to dwell on my problems.
Merry Christmas
Shirley
Jody Hedlund says
Hi Shirley,
Yes, there’s really something peaceful about sitting in front of the Christmas tree, especially in the dark by the glow of the lights! It’s one of my favorite things this time of year!
Wishing you many more peaceful moments this Christmas season!
Gail Hollingsworth says
I love watching Charlie Brown Christmas. I’ve watched it several times already this year (I have Grandkids). It never ceases to get me in the spirit of what the season is all about. I keep,holding my breath for the day they remove it from TV because Linus recites scripture from Luke chapter 2. God and sinners reconciled!
I loved reading Kisses from Katie. Such an amazing story. I’ve ordered several of the necklaces from their website. A great way to support those women in Uganda trying to support their families and getting to wear cool Jewerly at the same time!
Jody Hedlund says
Hi Gail,
I love Charlie Brown Christmas too! It’s amazing to think about the contrast between shows like that and the ones made now that have no mention of the true meaning of Christmas. I’m also so impressed by all that Katie has done to bring awareness and support to the people she lives among. She’s an amazing and inspiring young lady!
Linda McFarland says
Loved your post and your daughter’s insightful thought about children doing and having chores! I know you are proud of her. It is easy to have the bah humbugs when it seems everyone is having a picture perfect Christmas except you! This year my 87-year old mom had a corneal transplant and taking care of her has become more important so we will be doing things a little differently this year. I am grateful to be spending time with her. Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!
Carol J. Garvin says
That ‘Bah-Humbug’ attitude is a sneaky beast! Christmas is such a positive time… of waiting in hope and expectation, and of sharing in love and compassion. But we tend to do so much more during the Christmas season than at other times, trying to celebrate special traditions with our friends and families, that we don’t realize we’re wearing down until suddenly everything becomes too much. I’ve been known to mutter, “I’m not doing this next year!” which is “Bah-Humbug” in disguise. In trying to do everything right, we end up doing it all wrong, focusing on the unimportant.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder to give thought to what we can do to change things, and experience the true Joy of Christmas.
Wishing you a blessed Christmas!