A bouquet of pencils and a helping of grace

There’s something about the middle of August. It’s a time of bouquets of sharpened pencils and kids starting school. The temperatures are still blisteringly hot here in Indiana, but my kids started school this week. I have a senior and a sophomore in high school. And my recent college grad moved over the weekend and started his grown-up job after milking every moment out of his last summer.

I wasn’t prepared for the turning of the calendar page.

Tragedy hit my family at the end of July, and it has cast a long shadow over the last few weeks.

It’s amazing how life goes on. It doesn’t slow down for a moment. And through the grace of some writing friends yesterday, I realized I needed to give myself some space to be.

I’m inordinately terrible at it. I race from thing to thing — my calendar tends to be built that way. I had one day at home after being with my brother and his daughters before flying across the ocean with my young adult son for a conference. Then I was back home for one day to record podcast episodes and then take my daughter on three college visits all over the region over the next three days. It was just what had to happen.

When I was finely home again, I let myself sleep most of Sunday afternoon, because I recognized that I hadn’t allowed myself to feel jetlag. Or many of the other emotions.

Why does this matter? Because I’ve been frustrated with myself that I have this big idea for a book proposal. . . But I can’t get it down on paper. Did I mention I’m writing non-fiction books for the university press at the university I teach at this year, too? There’s a lot going on in my brain, and I just can’t get the characters to settle into place. I’m so excited about this idea.. and then when I sit down to write. . . to quote Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail again. . . Nothing.

It’s so frustrating.

I’ve had to acknowledge that I need to give myself grace and space. Make it through the next few weeks. And maybe over this fall the characters will begin to speak to me. I hope so! Because I love this concept. But until then, here’s to leaning into a season of grace for ourselves and others.

The new season of Book Talk has started with two fun guests: Lisa Bergren and Bethany Turner. I currently have a giveaway of Bethany’s latest novel running with her episode, so be sure to pop over to enter! You can do that here. It closes on August 19th.