Here I am with my grandma in July at her 95th birthday party.
My sweet 95 year old grandmother died this week.
You may recall that I wrote about visiting her this past summer and how seeing her weakened, frail, demented condition broke my heart. So while I mourn her physical loss, I’ve already been grieving for some time . . . grieving the loss of the strong woman I’d once known, the grandmother who’d adored me, who bought me a big cookie for every birthday, who tirelessly played Rummy Cube or Clue.
As you read this, I’ll be attending her funeral in Iowa at the Lutheran church she always went to with its musty scent, high vaulted ceilings, and hard slippery pews. While I rejoice that she’s whole and strong again and skipping down the streets of heaven, I can’t help but ache that such an important person in my life is now gone.
My grandma with her NINE great-grandchildren! (5 out of the 9 are my kiddos!)
Her death reminds me of the brevity of life, that the end will eventually come for all of us, and that life is really much shorter than we realize. I don’t want to depress everyone with my ruminations, but watching a loved one die makes us take stock of our own lives and how we’re spending our time. We’re reminded that time is finite, and that we’re all taking steps toward eternity’s door, some of us faster than others.
All of that to say, my grandma’s passing is making me reflect on some of the important things in life. As I look back on what she taught me, here are a few timeless lessons:
1. Make your loved ones feel extra special. My grandma and grandpa came to visit us for just about every holiday and birthday. And they didn’t do it out of obligation. They did it out of the pure joy of being with us. They made me feel special and loved. Every. Single. Time.
2. Take care of yourself, but don’t forget to eat ice cream. My grandma took her vitamins regularly, read the labels on food religiously, and exercised faithfully until the day she couldn’t walk any more. But she relished eating a piece of fine chocolate. And she rarely turned down a bowl of vanilla ice cream.
3. Cherish past memories, but continue to make them too. As an adult, I was always amazed to walk into my grandma’s home and see the little crafts and pictures I’d made as a child still hanging around her kitchen. She showed me the importance of remembering the past, but at the same time we continued to always forge new memories.
4. Make time to laugh boisterously. My grandmother loved to laugh. She had a wonderful, loud, contagious laugh. My dad could always tickle her funny bone, and so my memories of our many family gatherings involve games and laughter and having lots of fun together. I’m sure there were difficult times too, but fortunately laughter always seems to tip the scale.
5. Feed the ducks. Some of my earliest memories with my grandma involve going to the park near her house and throwing pieces of bread to the ducks. I’m not entirely sure why that was so fascinating! But it is indicative of what my grandma did every day of her life. She fed those around her. Not literally. Rather she was involved in the lives of many people, loving, helping, serving, praying. She spent her life feeding others and was full as a result.
I could go on and on. I’ve only just begun my list of life lessons I’ve learned from my grandma. She was a special woman. And one day, I’ll look forward to hugging her again in heaven where she’ll be whole and able to exercise and laugh and make me feel extra special. And who knows, maybe we’ll even feed some ducks.
How about you? Have you ever lost a loved one? What lessons did you learn as a result?
Jody Hedlund
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Ah, Jody. So very sorry for your loss. Your post reminded me of my mom who passed at the age of 96 over four years ago now. I promise you. Those memories that you treasure now will continue to bless you the rest of your own life. {{hugs}, friend.
Jody, I am so sorry for your loss. My mother passed away going on twelve years now and I still feel her loss keenly. That is how much she impacted my life. I think the most important thing I learned from her was how to love God wholeheartedly and with no limits. I will keep your family in my prayers.
Jody I’m so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful testimony of your grandmother’s life. I lost my mother 19 years ago. My Dad 8 years ago. My sister almost 6 years ago. My mother and sister where both wonderful Christians. My mother was a very humble sincere Christian. My sister very loving and caring. She was my first Christian mentor. My Father , though a Christian suffered though my personal problems. The thing I remember most about him was that he had a wonderful voice that he used to glorify God.
Jody the memories of your grandmother will always be with you in your heart.
Blessings
Shirley
I’m so sorry about your grandmother Jody. Being a grandma now I know the importance of making good memories with my grandchildren. Your post also reminded me that God created our minds to mostly remember the good things and block out the not so good memories. I lost my dad when he was 46 yrs old from a massive stroke. I was five months along with his first grandchild. But I like to remember the fun times we had together, even though there were plenty of the not so good.
I’m sorry for your loss, Jody. I very well remember your previous post about your grandmother.
I ADORED both of my grandmothers and was fortunate to have them in my life until I was in my mid-twenties. They impacted me hugely. Like your grandmother, I know for sure they’re awaiting me in heaven.
It’s always so hard to say goodbye. Saying a prayer for you and your family today, Jody. And taking to heart item number 2. Sometimes ice cream and chocolate are jut what one needs to continue on. 🙂
Father, please comfort Your daughter and her family, as they say good-bye and celebrate Your daughter’s going home.
Jody, I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
I understand your comments about grieving your grandmother, prior to her death, as I mourned my grandmother for 2 years, prior to her going to live with Jesus. She was one of my favorite persons. During her final years, as her memory of me faded and I became any person she would choose, God taught me patience. (A Spiritual Fruit, which I still don’t have in great supply) He taught me to lean on Him and cry out to Him, more than I had ever done in my life.
May God continue to give you His Peace and comfort.
Jody, I am so sorry about your loss. So hard to those who were so much a part of your life. The only thing I would add to you post is to ask question, learn histories, etc. You will wonder for years and years if you don’t. And even with some who have Dementia or Alzheimers. When my Grandma reverted to her childhood, she started telling things like how the Indians planted corn. Ask your parents, now. Don’t wait. So much will be lost. I regret asking many things of mine and they are gone. God bless you and cherish those precious memories of your childhood with your Grandma.
Always remember to never miss a time to feed the ducks. Laugh, laugh until you almost
cry. Because your laughter and feeding the ducks makes her spirit to live on and on. God
is blessed in heaven. Thank you for your story.
Sorry for your loss, Jody. The biggest thing for me is finding blessings in the everyday things. Making the most of those memories. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture to be memorable.
It’s hard to part with our loved ones even when we have hope for meeting them again in eternity. At our (increasingly advanced) age, my hubby and I are now the oldest generation of our family — a sobering thought! We find great joy in spending time with our married children and their families… our grandchildren, and now even two great-grandchildren. Family times are precious and I’m glad you have wonderful memories of those times spent with your grandmother. Blessings to you.
Oh Jody! As a pastor in rural elderly churches, funerals were my forte. In one small rural township I was the “only game in a town of 60” . However, family plots overcrowded the cematery, and I can even do Kaddish if I have too. It did teach me that when we all go, seriously, the funeral isn’t for the departed, but for those they left behind. That was the day I stopped eulogizing and started celebrating life. There’s another story about burying a parishoner in a white out blizzard on Halloween……THAT one taught me self care and vaulting bodies until spring….
Enough of that….I truely mourn your loss even if I only know you in this format because I lost my father’s parents in ’61, my mother’s mom in ’69, and then both parents in the late 70s 15 months apart. I am now older than they were when they died and they’ve been gone over half my life.
You are so blessed to have had your GG for so long, and she will never be completely gone as long as she is remembered.Blessing and love to you and yours
Jody, I, too, have special memories of my grandmother (both maternal and paternal). I am saddened for you in the loss of your grandmother and enjoyed reading about your special memories. It is those memories that put a smile on our faces even though our hearts are sad. Know that I will remember your family in my prayers. Linda
Jody,I am sorry for your loss if your Grandma! You are correct though she is had skipping and having fun in Heaven ! BTW, you look so much like your grandmother too! Have you ever looked at her nose ,mouth, ears and eyes compare them with yours! wow:) my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time of loss!
Yes,my Dad passed away four years ago I miss him so much ! I still pickup the phone to talk to him about a game etc.I know he would be watching and then I go oh yea he is in Heaven and I put the phone down! I think I have learned what you already said “time is precious don’t waste a minute of it and keep in touch with your family always and to make your loved ones feel special and lived at all times !
because when they are gone you have SO much to say to them ! I can’t wait to see my Dad in Heaven some day out of pain ! It never goes away the feeling of loss! Your Grandma looked so loving and giving BTW she had a sweet face ! God Bless you and your family !
Love,
Darlene Lindstrom
Luvnheal@gmail.com
Thinking of you and praying for you. I lost my grandmother last December so I feel for you and your family.
So sorry to hear of your loss. What a wonderful testament to your grandmother. I lost my grandmother in 2002. She was living in England so I didn’t see her often. We would write letters and once in a great while talk on the phone. She made me feel so loved. We were close even though she was in England and I was in the States. She was interested in what I did and made sure to let me know I was special to her. I treasure my memories. I was able to go to England for her funeral and gave the eulogy. I was honored to do so. Keep all your memories close to your heart and you will see her in heaven.
So sorry for your tremendous loss.
I , unfortunately, did not have a close relationship with either of my grandmothers. I love to hear these stories of love. Someday if God grants me the privilege to be a grandparent, I would want to be like yours was. It is all about legacy and you have had that with your dear grandmother. I , again, am so sorry for this great loss. Thank you for sharing this special gift.
Blessings to you.