Being Real in a Social Media World

ByDeborah Raney
12 Comments

[I’m rerunning a post that ran here almost exactly five years ago. All these years later, my thoughts about social media are still conflicted: I love it and I hate it. I think the questions are even more pertinent today than they were five years ago. I’d love to hear your thoughts.]

My husband and I went out for an impromptu breakfast the other day and he asked me, “Aren’t you going to take a picture?” (Meaning, for Facebook…) I said, “No, let’s let this time be just for us. For you and me.” But it caused me to wonder: has my life been reduced to a post-a-day on Facebook?

I hope not! We all know that Facebook isn’t exactly “real.” Most of us put our best foot forward on social media. We post about the best of our lives, and sometimes we intentionally make even the best of our lives look better than it actually is. I’m as guilty as anyone.

But I’m trying to be intentionally more transparent and real on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and wherever I post. No, you won’t find me dishing about the latest fight with my hubby. (You’d think we’d have things all worked out after forty years, but no, we do still have fights.) I probably won’t be posting a photo of me sans makeup any time soon. (That just wouldn’t be pleasant for anyone involved.) And I promise I won’t post one of those annoying, ambiguous, cry-for-attention posts either. You know the ones: “Feeling sad and depressed today for reasons I can’t go into, but believe me the details would curl your toes and possibly make you call the cops.”

Yet, for all its faults, I’ve also noticed that social media causes me to find new appreciation for the little things in life, and to realize that other people are all about the little things too. One of my most popular Facebook posts ever, was when I posted photos of some pretty cardboard tissue boxes I’d discovered at Aldi’s, our local bargain grocery. There was a bond formed that morning, seeing how many other people actually care whether their Kleenex box matches their decor…and how passionately they care! LOL! But you know what I mean… There is pleasure in the little things in life, and I think my attitude of gratitude has grown simply from thinking more intentionally about the “instagram” snippets of life.

Some people aren’t aware that authors are asked (some would call it required) by our publishers to have a strong presence on social media. It is, after all, a great way to get news about your books in front of readers. And more importantly to me, it’s a wonderful way to connect with some of my readers. And that’s why I actually love social media…Facebook and Instagram especially. It’s a joy to get to see pictures of my friends’ kids and grandkids (not to mention my own!) It’s great to learn that our faraway friends just bought a new house, or to see pictures of the latest DIY project my niece is working on. It’s wonderful to get updates on a cousin’s sick baby, or a childhood friend’s aging parents. I love hearing the story behind the story of my favorite authors’ newest books. And I’m often blessed by a Scripture verse or worship song a friend posted…words that sometimes seem like they were posted just for me.

And with a post like this, I would be remiss if I didn’t give you a chance to follow me on my social media venues! Click on the image above, which will take you to my website where you can choose from the buttons above.

What about you? Is social media a bane or a blessing to you? How can people be real—without being obnoxious—where social media is concerned?

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DEBORAH RANEY's first novel, A Vow to Cherish, inspired the World Wide Pictures film of the same title and launched Deb’s writing career. Forty books later, she's still creating stories that touch hearts and lives. Her novels have won RWA's RITA Award, the ACFW Carol Award, the National Readers Choice Award, and the HOLT Medallion. She is also a four-time Christy Award finalist. Deb is on faculty for several national writers’ conferences and served on the executive board of the 2,500-member American Christian Fiction Writers organization for 18 years before retiring in 2022. She is a recent transplant to Missouri, having moved with her husband, Ken Raney, from their native Kansas to be closer to kids and grandkids. They love road trips, e-biking, Friday garage sale dates, and breakfast on the screened porch overlooking their wooded backyard.

12 Comments

  1. You’re so right, Deb. It is a mixed blessing. I think readers want to know that authors are real people. But I also treasure my privacy. Finding the balance is hard sometimes.

  2. I’m a fan of Facebook but admit I’m on it too often. Lately though I find myself enjoying Goodreads maybe even a little more. I have made some very good friends on both media sites. I love to post what I’m reading or share scripture. Sometimes if I try a new recipe that turned out rather good I will post that also on Facebook. I have a few groups I’m in that I enjoy . But truth be told I could spend more time cleanIng my apartment.

  3. I’m fond of checking my Facebook page a few times each week to keep up with people’s lives who live near or far from me and to see posts from my favorite authors. Many posts are humdrum, but I LOVE better understanding the person behind the posts.You see the person’s family members, that person’s hobbies and favorite activities, and sometimes their political and/or religious leanings.

    I have many friends and relatives who live in far away states or even countries. I seldom see them in real life, so this is a blessing to be able to communicate with them more frequently than just in Christmas letters/cards. For example, I learned recently that the son of a family friend died on New Year’s Day, and although I was not able to attend the funeral, I was able to watch it in its entirety on a YouTube video posted to Facebook. It was a magnificent testimony to God and a great honor to the person who died/”graduated”.

    As an avid reader, I LOVE finding out about writers’ new books, their Facebook parties, giveaways, and their lives by seeing their posts on Facebook.

    I don’t enjoy relentless Facebook private messages of a general nature that could have just been posted. I don’t enjoy seeing everyone’s dinner selection or knowing at which restaurant everyone is eating.

    I have had to hide a particular individual’s posts because they are frequently off color.

    However, for the most part, I love Facebook. I’ve found Instagram and Pinterest don’t meet my needs, and for some reason, my account is messed up on Twitter. So, I don’t Tweet, but maybe that’s a blessing. I don’t let Facebook consume my every minute but do enjoy checking my account when I have time.

    1. Your feelings are about the same as mine, Suzanne, except that I do love Instagram and Pinterest. I do tweet, mostly to promote my writer friends, but Twitter is definitely the one social media I would let go of if I could!

  4. I love this, it’s so true about social media and people putting their best and sometimes their worst on for all the world (or just friends) to see. I only use facebook to keep in touch with those I otherwise might not, to play games and I just love to be able to interact with my favorite authors. It is quick and easy, but to be honest I would rather just read. I do have an Instagram account but since I don’t have a cell phone I can not post anything on mine but its nice to see what pictures my niece posts, twitter I have not really got the gist of but again I like to comment on authors pages. This day and age people are way to open about everything.

    1. So interesting to see how others use social media. I agree with so much that you said above, Karen! So glad I’m one of those authors you interact with. 🙂

  5. Like you, I love seeing what my former students and their families are doing as well as our own nieces and nephews activities. I try not to get into the ugliness of social media but it is so hard to avoid this year.
    Thank you for your post with your thoughts about these things.
    One thing is for sure, I love this blog and look forward to reading it each day.

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