The August day, fifty years ago, was hot and sticky. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except that I was about to marry my best friend. Ken and I had dated for two years in college, and when we kissed goodnight outside my dormitory we would say, “We’re another day closer!” We had finally reached that day. I saw Ken waiting for me at the end of the aisle and couldn’t stop smiling.
It wasn’t a “picture-perfect” wedding by any means. Ken was starting graduate studies at Yale so we didn’t have a lot of money. My parents prayed for me before the ceremony, thanking God for “loaning” me to them for the past twenty years. Dad was very nervous. I was the first of his three daughters to marry, so this was new to him. As he walked back to his pew after kissing me goodbye, his shoe caught on my veil, dragging it with him. I scrambled backwards to keep it from tearing off my head, whispering, “Dad! Dad, stop!” He thought I was changing my mind.
Ken and I held hands as we spoke our vows—the ones that promise “For better for worse, in sickness and in health, until death we part.” Then the pastor dropped Ken’s wedding ring and it made a lovely, pinging sound as it bounced down the three wooden steps from the altar to the aisle. Our best man chased after it.
We knelt down and the pastor laid his hands on our heads as he prayed for us. But my headpiece had real roses in it, and I could feel the thorns digging into my scalp. I envisioned trails of blood coursing down my brow. I still remember what he prayed, though—that God would bless our marriage and make it endure as an example of what a strong marriage in Christ can be. Fifty years later, I think his prayers have been answered.
Our reception was in the church basement. My sisters and I had decorated the hall, Mom made the food. A woman we knew baked the wedding cake. We don’t have many photos of our wedding because our photographer had a heart attack a few days before the wedding and his replacement was inexperienced. It didn’t matter. The memories are engraved on my heart.
Four years ago, Ken and I attended a relative’s picture-perfect wedding. At the reception, the DJ invited all the married couples onto the dance floor for a Generations Dance. Each time he called out an anniversary—five years, 10 years, 15 years—couples who had been married for only that length of time had to sit down. At last, only the longest-married couple remained. Ken and I had won. The DJ handed us a microphone and asked us to tell the new bride and groom the secret of our long, happy marriage. I’m not sure how I replied, having no time to prepare. But I’ve thought about it since then and here are two of our “secrets.”
The most important one is to build your marriage on the foundation of Christ. There’s a good reason why scripture tells us not to be unequally yoked with a non-believer—it’s because it doesn’t work. Since a Christian’s life-goal is to serve and glorify God, marriage becomes difficult when your partner has a conflicting goal. A successful marriage is going to require grace and forgiveness many times over, and this doesn’t come naturally to us. We learn what love and forgiveness are from God, who continues to love us in spite of our stupid mistakes, and who forgives us at great cost. The secret of a happy marriage is to follow His example and love each other sacrificially.
Ken and I were fresh out of college when we married, and we each had dreams for our lives. Ken’s first goal was a Master’s degree, so I postponed my dreams for a few years to support us. His bigger dream was to play full-time in a symphony orchestra, so when he won a position as principal trumpet in the National Symphony Orchestra in Bogota, Colombia, we moved to South America. We did the same thing a few years later when he won principal trumpet in a Canadian orchestra.
In the meantime, my first dream was to be a mom. Ken took several jobs in addition to the orchestra so I wouldn’t have to work outside the home. When I began to pursue my dream of writing, Ken became my greatest cheerleader. He bought our first computer, an expense we couldn’t afford, before I’d published a single word because he believed I’d be a writer, someday. My second secret to a long and happy marriage is to take time to prayerfully plan and dream together. Then do everything you can, sacrifice whenever you can, to help your partner fulfill those dreams.
Happy 50th Anniversary, Ken! It has been an amazing adventure!
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Oh, I LOVE your story, Lynn! You guys have made some wonderful memories and I have no doubt there are many more on the horizon! Happy anniversary!
Thanks Deb. It has been an awesome journey together.
Happy Anniversary! What wonderful memories!
Your story kind of mirrors ours. We were twenty but waiting for Navy orders.it was very hot that June day. We had a small ceremony in our Church with the reception in the basement. No catastrophe on that day but it was upheaval. My parents decided to tear down part of the house and rebuild. We moved to a house with a patio door. My sister managed to crash through it days before the wedding. She wasn’t in the party, neither was my other sister because her ex boyfriend was the best man! I had mono. I organized the wedding and made my dress because my mother was going to college at the time. My sewing machine broke and I had to borrow two others to get the job done.
Well four kids and 51 years later we are buying our first house! We close on Wednesday. God is certainly good through all the ups and downs! Blessings!
Golly, Paula! You made your own wedding gown! That makes it special.
Congratulations! It is so great that you helped each other go for your dreams.
Wow! Such sweet memories! Thanks so much for sharing. 🥰 isnt amazing to see how the Lord made ken for you and you for Ken so sweet.
Oh, Lynn. That is so amazingly special. Congratulations!!!!
I LOVE this, Lynn. Happy, happy Anniversary, and thank you both for modeling a godly marriage of love, hope, and sacrifice!
What an inspiration you are individually and as a couple! May God grant you many more years to serve Him and each other!
Congratulations on reaching number 50!! My husband and I reached the 50 year anniversary last New Years Eve….it almost gave us a feeling of “whew, we made it”, laughing and enjoying each other’s company and thinking back over the years! Here’s to many more happy years for you and Ken! P.S. I’ve read pretty much all of your books and loved them! Keep up the wonderful writing!
Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary to you both!!
Lynn, this post is beautiful. Such a special tribute to a long, happy marriage.
I pray you’ll have many happy years ahead. 🙂
Congratulations! That’s a great story. We celebrated 55 years on August 7th – again, a wonderful adventure.
What an inspirational post, Lynn. Congratulations on 50 years! What a tremendous example you and Ken are. I love your love story. And I’ve decided that all those things that go wrong at weddings are what make them memorable. You certainly had some doozies! But what fun memories. 🙂 With three children in college and hitting that age where marriage is coming soon, your advice is so appreciated. May you and Ken be blessed with many more years to come!
Congratulations! Thank you for your example of Christian marriage and may you have many more happy years together.
Lynn, what an awesome testimony! Beautiful. Congratulations, 50 years. 👏🌹
BTW, I just finished reading If I Were You. Excellent book. Fascinating reading about WWII from an English perspective. 👍👏
Happy Anniversary!! Loved your post!!
Loved reading about your wedding. Such memory making incidents that put a smile on my face. Reminded me of some of our “disasters” that we still chuckle about. Great two pieces of advice!
Happy 50th anniversary! I love your story and advice.
The wisdom in this post encouraged me today, Lynn. Happy 50th! What a great reason to celebrate. 🙂
Happy anniversary! This is such a lovely post. Thank you for sharing! 🙂
Hi Lynn,
Congratulations on 50 years of marriage! Thank you for sharing your memorable wedding. Sometimes brides get so caught up in having a perfect wedding that they forget the main reason they are having one, the love they share with their special mate. If all marriages followed your advice, there would be many more anniversaries to celebrate.
Thank you for sharing the lovely story of you wedding and marriage. What an encouragement to newlyweds!
Happy anniversary! I have read your posts before but I didn’t know you lived in Bogota. I’m from Colombia and lived there until 10 years ago when I moved to the States. I enjoy reading your wisdom and life experiences in your posts. May the Lord keep on blessing you and your marriage.
This is so good! I’m on #22 and I am so blessed to have a godly husband. Blessings to you, Lynn!
Wonderful – and maybe more weddings will be like this, post covid ( if there is such a time)
The happiest wedding we ever went to had no guest list, no frills of any kind. . Everybody welcome at the church, reception in the church hall, and as the new husband said, if the food starts to run out, we’ll send for more – plenty of shops in town.