This week, I’m editing my next book and also hosting my sisters at my home! It’s with much gratitude that I welcome Shelli Littleton to the blog today, who is kindly stepping in and guest-posting for me. Shelli’s a gifted writer and a wonderful friend. Say hi to her in the comments, connect with her on Instagram & Facebook, and be sure to check out the giveaway that we’re offering! -Becky
“Will you feed my caterpillars while I’m out of town?” asks my friend. Later, I watch her with scissors in hand demonstrate cutting sections off an outdoor plant exhibiting orange blooms, and she says, “The caterpillars are hungry.” I’m finding that comment comical until we return into the house and approach these crawlers who whittle away the leaves of milkweed to mere sticks. “They are hungry,” I say. We move to the kitchen sink where my friend teaches me how to rinse tiny spiders from the foliage, to add the new greenery to the floral water vials, and to transfer newfound caterpillars with care. With furrowed forehead, I yearn for her to repeat the directions. Cocoons wiggle as she zips up the butterfly habitat cage. This process is complicated.
My mind revisits weeks prior, when life got hard, when I’d longed to close myself off to the noisy world. Because an introvert needs quiet. Sitting in the peacefulness of my living room, alone on that rare occasion, all I could mentally mutter was I miss you, quiet. My whole family has been home since Covid stepped onto the world stage. My husband took over the office, and I moved to a workstation in our bedroom. Books now line the wall of windows adjacent to my desk, where piles of paperwork cover most inches of the desktop, items that used to go into the office. By all appearances, I’ve turned into a hoarder. I have no time alone, no space to myself. Quiet, that private place to pour out my soul through the written word, is absent.
Stifled sobs drain from my person against the unwanted change, and my hair cries to be cleaned and rinsed, as well. But with my husband at a doctor’s appointment a while longer, these solitary seconds are precious. What have you done to me, Covid? Before 2020, I washed, dried, and styled my hair every single day. I shrug a shoulder to the truth that not only does my room offer the impression that I’m a hoarder now, but I’ve also morphed into an every-three-day hair-washing, messy-bun kind of girl. As if these adjustments weren’t enough, a precious woman passed away in 2020, leaving me motherless on this earth.
Oh, Shelli, how Covid has changed you. My heart stirs and my depleted fingers begin to move, as words beg to pour forth from this emotional being.
The ringing phone slices the silence, breaking my meditation, my thought processes. My husband says he’s only ten minutes from home and asks if I need anything. My writing spirit closes down like a flower at dusk.
How will I manage? How will I plot that next story and start that first page? When will morning come?
I sense the Lord whisper into the depths of me … Be grateful, Shelli.
My breath heaves under the weight of guilt, because my husband suffers severe heart issues. I’m thankful for each day with him and with my girls, who will soon fly the nest. Gratitude fills me that my husband kept his job through Covid, that he’s been able to work in spite of his illness, we still have health insurance, we have a wonderful home, and our two daughters whom we adore are successfully wrapping up their university years. Cherish these days, Shelli. How long will we all be gifted here together, in this space that we love so much? You can bear these different moments.
Days later, I delight in the news that monarch caterpillars endured their time with me, surviving through the change, withdrawn from the world, hidden in order to emerge into what God intended one to be, until the fragility of little wings brilliant with color press through the growth, doing their best through this short life.
Fly, Butterfly, fly.
Oh friend, how has Covid changed you?
p.s. If you’ve found your “quiet” disturbed too, my friends Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby have released a book, Spouse in the House: Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other.
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Shelli Littleton is an aspiring novelist, who writes for Woman’s Missionary Union’s magazine Missions Mosaic. She and her husband live in a little house on a county road in Texas, along with her two daughters, two sheep, three cats, and fox family that they now claim as their own.
Learn more about Shelli’s writing on her website, and she adores connecting with readers and writers on Instagram and Facebook.
Becky Wade
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What a beautiful post, Shelli. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You’re a blessing!
You’re a blessing too ❤
Aw, Love and hugs, thank you!!
What a peaceful sharing Shelli. It was calming, the innocence of your Covid outlook, as I read.
You know, I love y’all. I’m praying that God will continue to show His mercy, in B’s health. I’m so thankful for his determination to not give up! And the girls, well done! Love and prayers sweet Friend💞
People always tell him how much he inspires them because he never complains and he never gives up. And you know we love you too.
Beautiful and lyrical, you have the voice of a poet calling all of us to slow down and reflect. Thank you.
Thank you so much!
That was so well said! I connected with it because I’m an introvert too and I need lots of quiet time. Thank you for your transparency.
Thank you so much, Helen. That Quiet time is so precious.
What a lovely post, Shelli! It’s a good reminder to enjoy what we have right now, this minute. Even hungry caterpillars (reminds me of a certain much-loved book), bedroom desks, and messy buns. Have a blessed day!
Thank you, Angie!
I, too, have become an every three days hair washer! It’s all good. And really, it is better for our hair to not wash it so often. 😉 This was a beautiful post and a great reminder to pause and appreciate all the blessings God has given us.
Thank you, Sherrinda. Fall always manages to usher in gratitude.
Hi Shelli, Your post was lovely and it challenged me to enjoy each moment and to listen to what God is telling me,
Suzy, you are the sweetest. I’m so glad to know you. You always bless me. ❤
Dear Shelli, your writing is as beautiful as ever. That’s one thing this pandemic season can’t take away.
And I can testify that Spouse in the House is wonderful encouragement.
Thanks to you I have also enjoyed Becky’s lovely writing too. Good friends point us to good books.
Blessings – Wendy Mac 🕊️
Thank you so much, Wendy Mac. ❤ I’m so glad you enjoy Becky’s books too.
It’s like you were writing about me. I am right with you on the hair washing and lack of peace and quiet. I had ALL of my many kiddos on top of me for over a year and a half.
I am grateful for every minute of it, because what a rare opportunity it was to be so present with each other, but I also got absolutely NO time to write, read, and at times, breathe.
Now they are back to in-person learning and I feel as busy as ever only without them underfoot. I miss our family lunches and the joking we did during the day when they were all caught up in their classes.
It’s usually for just a season. And yes, the time to get things done is lacking and is such a challenge to overcome. But one day, we will be thinking back and remembering that crazy time we were all home. 🤣
Love and hugs, thank you!!
Back at you with hugs!
Ohhhh, this was so good!!!!
COVID has forced the same situation on us, but one kid moved away in the middle of it all, so we’re down to one at home.
One thing I learned is that my husband talks A LOT during the day!
Jennifer, you made me laugh out loud. Yes! And they say women have a lot of words. I beg to differ! 🤣❤
Enjoyed reading this! I definitely relate to the hair comment. Pre-COVID, Every Single Day! Post-COVID…why did I ever do that? 😂
You too?! I know … I felt the same. Why did I do that to myself every single day? The wasted time … 🤣
This is beautiful, Shelli. This has been a tough year for us as well, with selling our home and moving into a temporary place. It’s a small thing compared to your loss of your mother, but I’ve missed my old house, my space, so much more than I expected to. But God is with us in the change. Thank the Lord for that.
Thank you, Courtney. I can sure emphasize with you on moving. Moving is so hard. We have moved so many times. When we moved to our current house, we went from a spacious new home to a smaller older home that needed updates. We had more land and more space outside, but inside, everything is smaller. We even have a fireplace outside but not inside. It was a huge adjustment. I always feel like Instagram made me fall in love with this house tho, as I started sharing pictures and I started looking for the good and unique here. ❤