Recently a reader by the name of Joanne sent me an email and said: “My dream is to be an author someday . . . Every time I sit down to write, fear rears its head and screams at me, “you can’t do this,” “what makes you think you have anything worth writing?” or more recently, “you won’t stick this out so why even try?” So in the end, all I have is an empty page of fears. I wish I could push past this and just write, but I don’t know how. Would you mind sharing how you overcame this mindset?”
Oh my, yes. I can relate! Insecurity with a capital ‘I’ is a part of every author’s life, no matter how far along we are in the writing journey.
My blog posts from early in my career lament my fears and doubts. I always naively imagined that when I made bestseller lists and won some awards, I’d finally feel more confident and my writerly insecurities would fade away. But after completing 30-plus books, I still battle doubts.
Why?
Why are so many writers plagued with insecurities? Why do we believe our story to be a bestseller one day and the next day want to use it to line the cat litter box?
I’m not sure writers will ever be able to shake off the insecurity and doubts. They seem to be inherently woven into the job description of being a writer.
The fact is, baring our soul for the whole world to see in our stories is daunting. The criticism is tough. Art is subjective. The competition is stiff. The industry is volatile. Book sales are unstable. The rewards are illusive.
Altogether, the insecurities surround us and bombard us on a daily basis from within and outside ourselves—no matter where we’re at in the journey. It’s precisely because of the insecurities that we need to be writing for a reason that transcends publication, fortune, and fame.
When we’re writing for a bigger purpose, deeper motives, and out of love of the creative process, then we’re able to toss those insecurities aside and say, “Who cares. I’m gonna keep on doing what I love no matter what happens around me.”
Ultimately as a lover of books and fiction, I’ve adapted the attitude that I’m writing stories that I WANT to read first and foremost for my own enjoyment and pleasure. I can go into each new book with the mindset that even if my writing career tanks, I’m still doing what I love—creating entertaining stories that bring me immense satisfaction.
If I write simply for the joy of telling a story, I’m able to shove away all the other pressures and voices. At least until editing time . . . when those voices come back out yelling and screaming! But, then again, when I reach the point of wanting other people to enjoy my stories with me, then it’s time to accept the feedback.
So my advice to Joanne (and all of us insecure writers!)? Be your best fan and favorite reader during the first draft. Worry about other readers later.
What advice do you have for Joanne and others like her who are paralyzed by “I can’t do this” thoughts?
Jody Hedlund
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For me, it is usually the ‘I-don’t-have-time’ mindset that slows me down. I quite agree that sometimes I would think whether I should keep going but once I do, all doubts disappear. For the ‘I-can’t-do-this’ mindset, perhaps thinking ‘how do I know I can’t do this if I don’t try’ would be helpful.
Excellent advice, Jody. I tell myself that if my writing blesses only one reader, then it was worth all the work.
I very often confess my insufficiency to the Lord. “I’ve taken on something that’s so big that I’ll fail unless you’re in it, Lord. So please come and write this story through me” has been one of my most frequent prayers for more than ten years. I’d take your honest, “I can’t do this” to God and then claim, “but if you’ve called me to this, I believe that YOU can do this through me. And that’s what matters.” Then I’d do my best to shove all the negative thoughts aside while writing, maybe countering them with a verse like, “I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength” every time they try to rise up and bite you. As Jody pointed out correctly, we can’t allow doubt to derail us during the writing of the first draft.
Writing is a faith-builder! I often think that the Lord has used my manuscripts most of all to work on my character. This work is often challenging, disappointing, and filled with uncertainty. But it’s wonderful, too.