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Learning to Relax

March 27, 2025 By Cara Putman

I have a confession to make. I‘m really good at working. Like world class at it. I am the queen of going from one task right to the next, barely with a break to celebrate that the one has ended. I tightly calendar everything, and most of the time it works out fine… until someone gets sick, or an extra task gets assigned or a miscommunication occurs. Then the cascade can be brutal, but I ALWAYS hit deadlines. ALWAYS.

Being on time is my currency with publishers.

But there are little places where I need better systems. Groups on Facebook where Saturdays sneak up on me for posting. Or I’m not sure what I really have to contribute. The edges where I feel frayed and wonder if continuing to do all the things matters.

This semester God gave me the gift of a semester without teaching. That doesn’t happen at my level of teaching at a major, world-class university. There’s a long story behind it, but what matters is I got it before I flamed out. I’ve still had to work, but for the most part, my evenings haven’t involved work for the University — no grading! And I’ve had time to do some trips I don’t usually get to take. Next time I’ll write about the current adventure, but last week, during the university’s spring break, my husband and I slipped away for five days with two sets of our dearest friends from church to the Dominican Republic.

First off, this is not my usual vacation. I don’t stay in one place for five days. I don’t put my toes in the beach and just lounge. It’s not me.

But for those four days, it was (Why four days? Because our travel day got extended thanks to a delay in our connecting flight.)

Second, would I do this every vacation? No. But for an every once in awhile? Maybe. There was value in the forced relaxation. Remember I don’t know how to do this. I truly have been working in some capacity since I was ten or eleven. Essentially, I needed the detox. And I took it a step further by leaving my phone behind in the room on most days.

Third, what made it work for me was that we did it with friends. And these are some of our absolute best friends in the world. It was easy to hang out poolside, but also to do our own thing. We could learn a dance on the pool deck and essentially be the entertainment for everyone else, but also to lay and consume a book a day. I read some good ones, y’all.

Fourth, four days was my limit. Then it was time to get home for a day of intense work before the next adventure, but it was good. And it was beautiful. And maybe I am learning — later than many — that it’s good and right to learn to exhale and be.

And maybe in the next couple years we’ll bring our kids so they can learn 25-30 years before I did.

If you were on the beach, what book would you read? I read One Last Shot by Susan May Warren, Serial Burn by Lynette Eason, and An Overdue Match by Sarah Monzon. All three were good in very different ways. You can see my reviews for these and all the books I read on Good reads. And if you’re looking for a romantic suspense novel, then be sure to add The Accused to your TBR pile. It releases April 15th, and is inspired loosely by the Amanda Knox situation of a foreign exchange student being accused of murder and the romance is inspired by Demi Moore and Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. I am so excited to see what you think of this book. I love it so much!

And now for one last beach photo!

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Cara Putman

An award-winning author of more than 40 books, Cara is a Clinical Associate Professor in business law and ehtics to graduate and undergraduate students at Purdue University. She lives with her husband, four children, a perfect cat, and a sweet yet rambunctious shelter puppy in Indiana.
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Filed Under: Assorted & Sundry, Reading Tagged With: cara putman, reading, travel, writing

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Comments

  1. Deborah Raney says

    March 27, 2025 at 6:45 am

    Yay! I’m so glad you got this chance, Cara. I hope it becomes part of your regular schedule!

  2. Robin Lee Hatcher says

    March 27, 2025 at 7:14 am

    Good for you, Cara! So important to relax and just be.

  3. D'Ann Mateer says

    March 27, 2025 at 8:26 am

    Good for you, Cara! Resting is so important for so many reasons. I have friends and a husband like you, so I know that for some personalities, resting is hard work! 😂

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