Let’s talk about romance. No, I don’t mean the boy-meets-girl-and-they-fall-in-love-and-live-happily-ever-after kind of romance (although that is nice, too). I’m talking about “romance” as a way of life. Romance the way the Victorians thought of it—art for art’s sake. Beauty for beauty’s sake. Webster has a definition of romance that is this: A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.
Except I’d like to change that definition just a little. Instead of thinking of romance as “a remoteness from everyday life” why not be intentional about putting romance into our everyday lives? There’s no reason on earth not to, and so many reasons that adding touches of romance to the everyday makes life better in so many ways.
All it takes is a few intentional actions. And maybe a reminder or two, if we’re not already in the habit of living a “charmed life.” Here are a few things I’ve chosen to do on a regular basis that make every day one filled with little romances, little pleasures, little reminders of God’s glorious qualities and of his care for me.
• Light. Let there be light! Jesus is the light of the world. Maybe that’s why light is such a delight to me. In the daytime, I can’t wait to roll up the blinds and throw open the curtains all through the house. Let the sun shine in. And at night I turn on little lamps all through the house. I’ve researched and discovered that it costs very little to burn a little 7-watt, or even a 25-watt nightlight bulb for a few hours each evening, but oh, what warmth and romance it adds to the house—especially during the longer winter nights. Obvious romantic sources of light include a fire in the fireplace, candles—all the better if they are scented, and the light of the moon and stars on a clear night.
• Flowers. I think I learned this when our children were small, but a little vase of flowers—even if they are dandelions or a few sprigs of clover—brightens up a kitchen table or fireplace mantel almost as well as an expensive flower shop bouquet. I love having perennials and annuals growing in our yard to cut and bring inside from spring to fall, and if there are no flowers in bloom, then pretty autumn leaves or seedpods will do. Put them in your fanciest vase, or an old coffee can, and enjoy them for however long they last. I think that’s one of the qualities of these kinds of romantic touches—they have a short life and thus invite us to enjoy them while they last…even if that’s only a day or two.
• Dishes. I confess to being a collector of dishes and plates and glasses. Some of you have seen my crazy collection of mugs…going on 100 now! And one of my tiny pleasures each morning is choosing the mug I’ll use all day. (I confess, sometimes I use two different mugs the same day, just because…well, why not?) I make a rule of never eating a snack on a paper towel when I have so many pretty little snack dishes that will truly elevate the experience of eating that snack. We took the doors off our cupboards so I can enjoy looking at my dishes all day long, and it’s easy to select a pretty dish to eat from.
• Music. Sometimes I forget that music is mine to enjoy at the touch of a button! Though I often write to music, sometimes I forget to turn music on until I need to drown out some annoying sound. And then! Oh, I can’t believe I haven’t been availing myself of the gorgeous, mood-lifting, breathtaking, joy-bringing music I have access to on my laptop. I wish we still had a piano (and a place to put one) because I used to tease my husband that our piano saved him hundreds of dollars of counseling fees every month. Playing is just that therapeutic to me…and that was especially true when we had four kids and all lived together in a 1500-square foot duplex! But even without a piano or other musical instruments at my disposal, there is one instrument I can play any time I want: my voice! I’ve noticed that my grandchildren sing all the time! With abandon, not caring who hears, making up their own happy tunes. I want to be more like them, knowing the Lord is more interested in the intent of my heart than the talent of my voice (which is pretty non-existent).
I think I could write a whole book on this topic of creating romance in everyday life, but there are a few things to get you started. What would you add to the list? What are the things that make the ordinary extraordinary for you?”
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I have to laugh at the lights. I tried that and my practical Hubs followed behind me, turning them off. Boy I can relate to the dishes. I love to arrange the food artistically on a plate.
My goal is to have every place setting different instead of a full set.
I LOVE different place settings! I’ve seen that done for wedding receptions and it’s just…well, charming! 🙂
Hi Deb, I love these thoughts and pictures. I enjoy so many of the same things you mentioned. I’ve been collecting pretty and unusual teacups since I started writing English historical novels. And I love to pick flowers and bring them in to brighten up my house, especially miniature arrangements on my kitchen windowsill. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve seen some of your beautiful settings, Carrie! Love how perfectly that fits your writing style too!
Good Morning Deborah: Gorgeous, (your words in addition to the images), and thought provoking Post. As a woman who has a variety of long-standing allergies who has never been able to be within close contact with flowers, I find that ‘Romance’ is a state of being. Always present within people who are mystified by God’s love, understanding and gifts. Whenever I think of the man whom I love, husband Leo, romance, which I define as passion for the goodness, authenticity and admiration I have for him, I am swept away within the warm stream of Romance. Just some thoughts. Hope that you have a great day. Mary
I love your definition, Mary! “passion for the goodness, authenticity and admiration…” word that could apply to God, too. Wonderful thoughts. And I’m always so filled with gratitude that God created beauty for us to enjoy! Says so much about His character!
I love your post, Deborah. I confess that I’m a dish-aholic. I love pretty dishes and my cupboards are filled with them–mostly from thrift shops and garage sales. I love flowers and pretty table-settings, too. People are always hounding me about why I go to the trouble of using real plates and cloth napkins instead of paper. Like you, I just love “pretty.”
I would LOVE a peek inside your cupboards sometime, Lynn! And especially the thrift shop and garage sale part! It’s so special to me to own something with “history” even if I can only guess at what that history might have been.
I love your post. It reminded me that Valentine’s Day should be everyday as an appreciation for all God provides in nature, music, art and those we love. And I love that you introduced me to Valentine garlands.
Saturday I bought sunflowers and greenery ‘just because’. I came upon a young adult man in the grocery who may have experienced a head trauma at some point and was with a relative. He lit up and commented about how he loved my flowers. I agreed. At checkout I thought I could share the beauty and waited till they finished their transaction and gave one of the 3 sunflowers to his relative for him. When she gave it to him he walked over to shake my hand and thank me. His joy was my pleasure.
Thank you for sharing your world that always brightens my day.
Oh, I LOVE that story, Daphne! Such simple gestures can mean so much!
Thank you for this beautiful post, Deborah, to remind me that everyday can be special. Sometimes in the daily routine, I forget to take the time to add special little touches that will bring ‘romance’ to life.
I have the dishes – in fact I collect teapots and mugs – the candles, the lamps, and work so hard in my garden. I just needed the inspiration to bring it all together everyday instead of waiting for special occassions. Your post has made my day! It reminds me that we need to “take time to smell the roses”.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Betty! If I helped even a few people remember to stop and smell the roses, I’ll be a happy camper. 🙂 Thanks so much for your encouraging words.
I always think about candles when I think of romance.
I burn scented candles almost every day, especially now that I’ve been finding them at garage sales for a dime or a quarter each!
I never really thought of anything like that. I know I love listening to music and burning candles. Now I want to challenge myself to come up with a bit of romance that I can add to my life.
Wonderful, Leann! I’m glad I could spark some ideas!
I find romance everyday, not by being remote but by being close to everything God has created and finding excitement in His many mysteries.
Amen, Elizabeth! No matter how long we live, we’ll never stop discovering new mysteries from His hand.
Hi Deborah, I love your post, especially your beautiful pics of all your lovely dishes. I agree with all you said, about letting the beauty of every day life and things lift us…an intentionality to how we live, like eating and drinking form pretty dishes. I can’t collect them for myself to any extent because there are four adults and two teens living in our 1100 square foot condo townhouse. But I still have little things, like, for example, my hummingbird mugs, and rose mugs. And though my son and his wife are minimalists [no flowery stuff for them] I have my own sunflower placemat, and I buy pretty floral or bird paper napkins. Things like that. God has given us a beautiful world. And if he’s not a romantic, then why did he invent so many kinds of roses.
I’m glad you’ve found ways to add romance to your life despite the limitations of square footage. Good lesson there!