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Ode to My Stretchy Velveteen Pants

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A couple of years ago, I lost a lot of weight. I ruthlessly culled my closet and got rid of lots of too-big clothes, including three pairs of stretchy velveteen pants: red, black, and navy. (We don’t wear velvet much in Florida).

But the pounds came back, and winter arrived, and I desperately wanted some more stretchy velveteen pants. So I ordered three more pairs from Amazon–thank the Lord for Amazon!

For the month of January–when I caught the dreaded Influenza type A–I have been living in said pants. I have them in three colors–black, dark green, and blue.

And now–a moment for bad poetry:

Ode to Stretchy Velveteen Pants

Oh, stretchy pants of velveteen,
So soft, so smooth, so downright keen!
You hug my legs, but not too tight,
A cloud of comfort, pure delight.

With waistbands made of magic thread,
Expanding freely as I’m fed,
No buttons, zippers—none of that,
Just pull you on, and off I scat!

In ruby red or midnight blue,
A garden green, a violet hue,
Your colors shine, both bold and bright,
Or subtle shades in soft moonlight.

You dress me up with polished grace,
Or lounge with me in my own space.
To work, to play, to dance, to dream—
You suit each mood and every scheme!

And when the winter winds do wail,
You keep me warm through frost and gale.
Yet even in my slumber deep,
You’re snug enough to wear to sleep!

Oh, velveteen, you treat me well,
For just a modest price, do tell!
A treasure grand, yet widely found,
A cozy joy that knows no bounds.

So here’s my ode, my grand applause,
To pants that bend no fashion laws.
For all you do, I’ll take my stance—
I love my velvet stretchy pants!

Hope you have some cozy stretchy pants of your own!

~~Angie

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Angela Hunt

Christy-Award winner Angela Hunt writes for readers who expect the unexpected in novels. With over five million copies of her books sold worldwide, she is the best-selling author of more than 165 works ranging from picture books (The Tale of Three Trees) to non-fiction books, to novels.

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Comments

  1. Ha! I love your poem, and I think, if you posted an Amazon review for those pants, sales would skyrocket. I double-dog dare ya!

  2. I love your poem! I don’t have velveteen pants, but I love my yoga stretchy pants. Unfortunately I don’t get to wear them very long during the year since Louisiana’s winters are so short.

  3. That made me laugh out loud, Angie! And I ordered the pants in the picture (I hope those are the right ones.) Are they long enough for a tall gal? Do they wash well? Do you put them in the dryer? You left out too many pertinent details, including a link! 🙂

    • Yes – you know how tall I am, and the length is perfect. Plus, I just throw them in the washer and dryer and they come out perfect I didn’t include a link because there were so many varieties, but I did buy the ones in the picture in three different colors, of course. Enjoy your velvet stretchy pants.

  4. LOL, Angie. Your poem cracked me up. I don’t have any stretchy velveteen pants, but a little over a year ago I discovered that yoga pants come in fleece-lined versions meant for winter (also purchased through Amazon). That’s what I live in all winter long now. Like your velveteen pants, they stretch and give where I need them to do so. Although not as pretty as velveteen.

    • I love the velveteen because I can wear them to Synagogue and look sort of dressed up, but I also can sleep in them when I have the flu. They work for everything 🙂

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