Once in a Lifetime
The August day, forty-eight years ago, was hot and sticky. I curled my long hair before leaving home but the humidity uncurled it by the time I reached the church. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except that I was about to marry my best friend.
It was a simple wedding. Ken was starting graduate studies at Yale so we didn’t have a lot of money. My sister Bonnie, my maid of honor, sewed my wedding gown and all of my bridesmaids’ dresses. My sister Peggy and girlfriend Ann were my bridesmaids. Ken’s fraternity brothers were his groomsmen.
My parents prayed for me before the ceremony began, and Mom nearly brought me to tears as she thanked God for “loaning” me to her for the past twenty years. Dad was teary-eyed and very nervous about giving me away. I was the first of his three daughters to marry, so this was new to him. But I saw Ken waiting for me at the end of the aisle and I couldn’t stop smiling.
It wasn’t a “picture-perfect” wedding by any means. The heel of Dad’s shoe got hooked on my veil, and as he walked back to his pew after kissing me goodbye, my veil went with him. I scrambled backwards down the aisle to keep it from tearing off my head, whispering, “Dad! Dad, stop!” He thought I was changing my mind.
Ken and I gazed at each other, holding hands, as we spoke our vows—the wonderful old-fashioned ones that promise “For better for worse, in sickness and in health, until death we part.” Then the pastor dropped Ken’s wedding ring and it made a lovely, pinging sound as it bounced down the three wooden steps from the altar to the aisle. Our best man chased after it.
We knelt down and the pastor laid his hands on our heads as he prayed for us. But my headpiece had real roses in it, and I could feel the thorns digging into my scalp as his hands pressed down. I envisioned trails of blood coursing down my brow, and wondered why on earth the florist had left the thorns in! But I remember what he said as he prayed for us—that God would bless our marriage and make it endure as an example of what a strong marriage in Christ can be. Forty-eight years later, I think his prayers have been answered—in spite of the thorns.
Our guests tossed rice as we left the church. My apologies to the environmentalists but that’s what we did in the 70s. The friend who drove us around town in his car, honking the horn, wasn’t familiar with the city and got hopelessly lost. We had to stop and ask some guy who was mowing his lawn for directions back to the church.
Our reception was in the church basement. My sisters and I had decorated the hall the night before with crepe paper streamers. Mom made the food, nothing fancy, just salads and buns and cold cuts. A woman we knew baked the wedding cake. I thought everything was perfect.
We were about to spend the next three years as poor, starving graduate students, so when Ken found a really great bargain package for our honeymoon, he decided to splurge. We soon learned why he had scored such a great deal when we landed in the Bahamas. No one goes there in August because it’s much too hot! We didn’t care. We had a nice room in a nice hotel and we were husband and wife at last! We also didn’t mind that Ken had cashed all our wedding gift checks to pay for it. Never mind that we couldn’t afford a toaster or a coffeemaker for a few more years.
We don’t have many photos of our wedding. The photographer we’d hired had a heart attack a few days before the wedding, and we called everyone in the phone book before finding a replacement. The man left town soon after giving us our photo proofs, and it was little wonder why. Most of the photos were horribly out of focus. It didn’t matter. The memories of that day are engraved on my heart.
When I see the time and effort and money that go into weddings nowadays, our simple little affair seems laughable. But it was all we could afford and we were thrilled with it. Ken and I had dated for two years in college before we married, and every night when we kissed goodnight outside my dormitory we would say, “We’re another day closer!” And on August 29, 1970, we had finally reached that day!
So, Happy 48th Anniversary, to us! If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing! (Except maybe the thorns.)
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Oh Lynn, what a treasured post, dear friend. As are your memories. Happy Anniversary! And may God continue to bless you both in the coming years.
Thanks my friend. We’ve had a great time so far.
Wonderful memories! We married on a hot day in June, 1969. Small as well. Church basement, minimal refreshments, I made my dress, my bridesmaids made theirs, my veil was fake roses. My Uncle officiated. My mother and motherin law took pictures. Ours were poloroids. Most didn’t survive the sticky album. Finally got orders from the Navy for Florida, spent two weeks there at my Aunt’s house til we got our apartment.
Thanks for the memories.
Our stories sound very similar! For better or for worse, right?
Happy, BLESSED, anniversary! I loved reading about your simple, but GOD centered, wedding! Thanks for sharing! (It would be great if you could share your story with youth groups around the country!)
I would love to talk to couples who want to spend enough money on the wedding to buy a car! So unwise. I would say concentrate on the marriage not the wedding!
What a beautiful post, Lynn. All the little less-than-perfect moments make the best memories, I find. And I have to say that I wish more people would follow your example of carrying more about the marriage than about the extravagance of the wedding. Your love for your hubby shines through this post and your 48 years is a marvelous testimony to what God can do with people who are committed to Him as well as to each other. May you and Ken have many more years of happily-ever-after together!
Thanks Karen. That’s my prayer too.
Love your true life love story! Congratulations on 48 years!
Thanks Anne.
I love your story. Happy Anniversary!
Thanks Melanie.
What a beautiful story of your wedding! Happy anniversary and many more!
We had a simple wedding, too, August 7, 1965, six weeks before I was 20. I had completed two years of college, where I met my husband who was going through Marine Corps OCS. We felt he would soon be sent to Viet Nam (and he was in March, 1966). We just celebrated 53 years. God has been good!
Amen! God is so good! Congratulations on 53 years!
Happy Anniversary!
Your story reminded me of our wedding 50 years ago this summer. Many parts of your story were similar to ours. My husband was also in the middle of grad school so money was tight. We thought it was a blessing to travel since we had no apartment and we we were moving to a new location. Instead of paying rent we spent the summer in Europe arriving home just in time for me to start teaching school.
Thanks so much for sharing and Happy Anniversary! Our wedding was in 1989 on January 20th – the coldest day that winter. I was suffering from tonsillitis (having had them removed when I was 4 years old….) so was well dosed with whatever the doctor and my sister, a nurse, could possibly prescribe. I don’t have a lot of memories from the wedding, but we spent our honeymoon in Cartagena, Columbia using our wedding gifts to pay for it. I recovered and we had a wonderful time. Our finances have never been great since we spent much of these almost 30 years in camp ministry, but the Lord has been with us all the way.
Huge congratulations, Lynn!!!
Your story brought back many memories of my 1st marriage in 1960.
Happy Belated Anniversary. Thoroughly enjoyed your story.
Mary
You made me cry! And the “thorns”—both literal and figurative—are exactly what make the story so interesting and so precious! May you enjoy many more happy years together!
Lynn–I love everything about your wedding story! I, too, had some laughable wedding moments. We got married in my mother’s living room on a Tuesday night. I walked down “the aisle” (bedroom/bathroom hallway)–joking with my sister that I should flush the toilet before stepping out. She was my bridesmaid, wearing her old prom dress. My mom and I made a hot dish for the 13 guests. And, a Red Velvet wedding cake…the frosting looked polka-dotted…with red crumbs. But, what I mostly remember was how intently my husband-to-be stared into my eyes as we said our vows. (All traditional–except for “obey”–I was a bride of the early 70’s and just could NOT promise that.) Our vows stuck…44 years and counting.
Happy anniversary to you!!
Happy anniversary! I agree wholeheartedly with Karen. Those less-than-perfect moments make the day unique and charming. They’re the moments we laugh over, blog about, and smile over years later. 🙂 This was such a fun post!
Lynn, I loved your wedding story! So funny and what great scenes to work into your books! Our main snafu was that for some unknown reason, the tables with food were not set up in the church the way we’d discussed and the groom’s cake (made by a friend and Sunday school class member) was tucked in the back corner, so no one ever saw it, much less, ate it. By the time I noticed, it was way too late, and it wasn’t at the top of my priority list. Later, I felt bad on her behalf.
Such a lovely story! I can totally see the love you and your husband have for one another. Happy anniversary, Lynn!
Your wonderful wedding story just brightened my day! Thanks so much for sharing it! Happy anniversary!
I wad married 7 years ago on August 20th. Since my parents couldn’t afford to contribute, I paid for it all myself with my Christian school income since I wanted to stick with tradition that it was the bride’s side to take care of the wedding. So, everything was cheap cheap cheap. My dress was $99 and my flowers were silk. Some of my family turned up their noses, but I didn’t care. My husband and I were happy to not start off our marriage with major debt!
Happy Anniversary to you both. My husband and I married a year earlier in August 1969. Next year will be the big one.
What a testimony to your faith in God and in each other! Congratulations on 48 years together; may you have many, many more wonderful years together!
What a sweet, romantic, and wonderful story, Lynn! Happy anniversary to you and Ken! It sounds like the best kind of wedding, the kind that means something, because Back in those days, we didn’t have a lot of money, and you and Ken had God, and love in your side.
Lyn, I enjoyed reading your memories of your wedding and the comments & memories of others. My husband Dick and I just celebrated our 57th anniversary (Sept. 1st) this past weekend, as well as our oldest son’s 56th birthday. He was born on our 1st anniversary, so we always enjoy the joint celebration. We’ve been blessed with 4 sons (& their wonderful wives) and 7 grandchildren.