When my twins were babies, I loved dressing them in coordinating outfits. I’d stick bows in their hair and make cute ponytails that stood straight up on the tops of their heads. When I’d take them out in the double stroller, people would always stop to admire them.
I could never figure out why people asked, “Are they girls or boys?” I wanted to say, “Why in the world would I dress them in pink and put bows in their hair if they’re boys?” But of course, I was always polite.
Yes, there were admirers I wanted to escort over to the Pearle Vision Store. But then, on the flip side, there were plenty who saw the enormity of my situation—especially because I also had my two-year old son tagging along. They would say, “You’ve got your hands full, don’t you?”
Yes, the pony tails are there on top of their heads!
And, when I look back to those days of managing twin babies and an active two year old, I get dizzy thinking about how much work it was! At one point, with three children under two years of age, changing diapers was a full time job.
Somehow through all the craziness, I survived. I even went on to have two more children. And now, whenever I go anywhere with my whole gang, invariably someone will say, “How do you handle five children?”
When they find out that not only do I have five kids, but that I homeschool AND am a full time writer with multiple books releasing, their incredulous tone rises in pitch as they stammer, “What? How can you possibly do all of that?”
Celebrating my twins 16th birthday this past August on Mackinac Island!
So, how does one manage multiple responsibilities? (Without going crazy?)
It’s not easy. I’m the first to admit it. I won’t pretend my life is bliss.
But managing multiple responsibilities is NOT an impossibility. One of the lessons I’ve learned about juggling a lot of different demands is this: We have to ease our way in to more.
Here’s what I mean:
1. Start at the beginning.
I didn’t start with five kids all at once. I began with one. Over the first couple of years, I became comfortable learning how to be a mom to one child. When I became confident and efficient with him, only then did I think about adding another. I’d learned the ropes and was ready for more responsibility.
And I didn’t start with a big house full of possessions. When I was first married, we lived in an tiny apartment with mismatched used furniture. Eventually we accumulated more stuff and moved to a very small starter home. Only when we were more established did we think about buying a larger home that could accommodate our growing family.
My point is that in whatever we’re doing, we need to start at the beginning. It’s easy to look at those who have more, do more, or are further along than we are, and to think we need to be like them. In those situations, we need to remember that once upon a time, they too had to start at the beginning.
2. Move forward in small increments.
The first year I was married, I could hardly boil water without burning it. And yet, for my first Thanksgiving I attempted a huge dinner for my brother and a friend. Guess how it turned out?
You’re right. It was a disaster! I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. In the end, I had to saw half-frozen meat off the carcass and cook the slabs in the microwave. We ended up having a few scarce pieces of rubbery turkey with our lukewarm and gravy-less mashed potatoes.
Now after twenty years of marriage, thankfully, I can whip a large Thanksgiving meal together with no problem. But it’s taken years and years of growing in cooking skills to get to the point of being able to do that.
We can’t skip over all of the valuable steps that come in the learning process. We have to take each baby step in progression. And we shouldn’t expect to handle the work of a seasoned veteran if we’re not one.
3. Let the new responsibilities challenge us to grow.
Over the years, I’ve had to adjust with each new responsibility. I’ve had to make sacrifices, stop certain hobbies, or let go of activities to make room in my life for the additions.
There are times when we add more responsibility to our lives that we’ll have to let go of something else. We can’t keep adding and adding without taking other things away—or else we’ll get to the point where we’ve crammed too much in and are ready to break.
However, if we gradually add more, we can stretch ourselves a little bit with each new responsibility. Our hearts, minds, and bodies will slowly grow stronger and better able to cope with the weight and pressures of what we’re adding.
Summary: There you have it! Ease your way into more—one of my secrets for how I manage multiple responsibilities.
Okay, so anyone else want to admit to a flopped Thanksgiving dinner? 🙂 How do you juggle all of your responsibilities? What are your secrets? Do tell!
Jody Hedlund
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Jody, thank you for this post. I have been struggling with my recent transition from one to two kids. I have a two year old and a three month old. It is nowhere near what you had to juggle, but it still isn’t easy. This post is encouraging to me to take one thing at a time. You are right; none of us becomes a master overnight. Thank you for that reminder.
Hi Courtney, From personal experience, I can say that the transition of adding on children is always a little crazy at first! Having a newborn baby always is a beautiful thing but it’s also such a demanding time of life! Praying that your life will settle into a manageable routine!
The question made me laugh about the Thanksgiving dinner. My newly married daughter who lives only 2 houses nearby volunteered to make the turkey. I was thrilled working full-time to have one less thing to do. She brought the turkey over when it was time to have dinner and as my husband began to slice it we realized it was totally raw inside although it looked wonderful on the outside. That was the year we ate only side dishes and desserts. I won’t forget that one! And neither will she!
So glad to hear that I wasn’t the only one who’s ever neglected to cook my turkey all the way! I’m so glad now for pop-up timers that tell when the turkey is done! But it sounds like you came up with a very nice solution eating the side dishes and desserts. Can’t ever go wrong with desserts! 😉
I once had a turkey all ready to bake–only to discover that it wouldn’t fit into our tiny apartment oven! (I had never used that oven before.) Oops! We drove the turkey to a friend’s house and cooked it there, then drove it (and my friend) home for dinner.
Haha! Yes, our first apartment also had a tiny ancient stove and oven. I’d like to blame the oven for my mishap (that maybe it wasn’t hot enough because it was too old to produce heat!). But I’ve since learned that a turkey has to be thawed for many days instead of just overnight! 🙂
I loved your post Jody! What people don’t realize about so many kids and homeschooling and some of those other “crazy” things some of us do, is that there are great advantages to multiple responsibilities. And they help our children grow up a little better balanced because it means their responsibilities are usually different than the only child.
My thanksgiving dinners always turn out perfect! 😉 What doesn’t turn out is trying to take short cuts. We lived in a turkey producing valley. There were always these turkey barbecue feasts with small chunks of turkey that were so good. I decided to hit the outlet store and pick up some of those ready to cook chunks at a discount. Well, I couldn’t figure anything out at their store but when I finally found what looked like what I wanted, I grabbed a bag. At the checkout counter the guy asked if I feed those to my dogs cause that’s usually what people use them for. WHAT??? Turns out it was a bag of turkey testicles. I gave up on looking for simple and just went back to buying my big turkey and cooking it the normal way. LOL Maybe the most important part of life is learning to laugh at our mistakes and keep on going!!!
I’m chuckling as I imagine if you’d actually brought those turkey “pieces” home and attempted to feed them at Thanksgiving! Eeek! I think you’re so right. It’s important to learn to laugh at ourselves! 🙂
Loved this post!!
Somehow my Thanksgiving meals have always turned out to be quite edible, even if they weren’t great. But I’ve made an epic mess of many other dishes and meals over the years!
I admit, that I’ve also made epic messes of other meals as well! I “fondly” remember many such days early in my marriage! 🙂
So far, no crazy mishaps… we have a big family, so everyone chips in doing something. We start planning days before, with a schedule written down! Fairly organized, but one year, our designated “carver” almost dropped the bird! It was hilarious because it was one of those slow motion type scene where everyone reached in trying to catch it, but luckily, the carver caught it himself. Whew!
Oh dear! That would have been a mess if the turkey had dropped! But like us, I’m sure you have the “five” second rule (or more like if-you-can-get-it-before-the-dog rule). What’s hard about the five second rule is when you drop a casserole and it splatters all over. (Not that I’ve ever done that! 😉 )