So Much More Than “Just” an Anniversary
On Sunday, June 5, 2016 my parents celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary. That’s a lot of years. I was there for all but one of them, and I can testify that they’ve been wonderful years. Years that set a beautiful example of love and commitment for my brother and sisters and me. Years that showed us what it means to stick it out through the hard times, and to celebrate the good times. I feel pretty certain that my parents’ long, committed marriage—along with the fifty-years-plus marriages of both sets of our grandparents—is a big reason why my siblings and I have, between us, celebrated somewhere in the neighborhood of 135 wedding anniversaries.
My dad was a farmer until he “retired” a few years ago. Anyone who knows him will tell you the word “retirement” is not in Daddy’s vocabulary. He runs circles around all of us, always helping someone, sharing his time, his resources, and his faith in equal measure.
My mom (we call her “Mothe,” short for Mother) was a farm wife and I couldn’t begin to count the times she fed half a dozen farmhands (plus her five kids) a Sunday-best lunch, getting the kitchen cleaned up just in time to start making supper. She sewed most of our clothes, and for several years, drove a school bus to pay for braces on our teeth. And she did it all with a smile on her face and joy in her sweet, servant’s heart. I get exhausted just thinking about how hard my mother worked, yet she wouldn’t have had it any other way.
It was a life she chose when she was eight years old and saw my dad sitting on a fence showing off. Mothe would tell you she fell in love with my dad in that moment, and although she and Daddy each dated another for a short while, there was never really any doubt that they were meant to be together. For life.
I had the happiest childhood imaginable and though I know now that money was in short supply in the early years, my parents were creative and resourceful, and we never lacked for anything important. We were—and are—deeply loved and we know it.
Three years ago dementia reared its ugly head and we moved my mom into assisted living, then shortly after, into full nursing care. The hardest part of those moves was that it separated my parents. Even so, Daddy drove forty miles each way to be with Mothe several days a week until he could sell their place and move closer to her. Though she is mostly bedridden now and her memory and health fade day by day, her eyes still light up for Daddy like they always have. And she can still finish the Bible verses he starts for her when they have their devotions together.
We’re grateful that she still calls us each by name, and on the days she can find her words, tells us she loves us. She still has her sense of humor too, something she and Daddy always shared. Recently when one of my sisters told Mothe, “I love you,” Mothe’s reply was “I love you back… And your front and your sides too.”
As difficult as these last few years have been, there is a profound beauty in them too. To see our parents’ commitment to each other, to see them hanging in there together when so many have given up and thrown in the towel, brings a sort of hope I can scarcely explain.
I’m so grateful to God for the parents He blessed me with, and for the example they’ve set of loving each other well, and of holding fast to their Lord and to each other…for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.
Happy Anniversary, Mothe and Daddy!
Discover more from Inspired by Life . . . and Fiction
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
What beautiful parents and heritage you have! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Alva. I so appreciate you taking the time to comment.
What a beautiful tribute! My husband and I are celebrating our 39th anniversary this week. I hope we are as fortunate as your parents and get to celebrate another 20 odd years together!That many years is not something that just happens. It takes hard work, perseverance and forgiveness.Congratulations to them and to your whole family!
Congratulations on your 39th, Linda! And wishing you many more! My husband’s maternal grandparents celebrated their 81st anniversary before death parted them! (They both lived to be 101!)
I loved reading about your sweet parents, Deb! What a wonderful heritage you have. And I particularly love your dad’s devotion to your mom in these days of her dementia. That is one of my favorite things about where I work: seeing this “greatest generation” display such commitment. It makes me sad to think where we’ll be in another 20-30 years when our society’s plethora of fractured families begin to age.
Thanks for giving us a glimpse of how God designed marriage to be!
So true, Linda! I’m so grateful that my parents have lived long enough to show that example of commitment even to their great-grandchildren! But you’re so right that something precious and vital is being lost as families become more and more fractured. (That’s a good word for it!)
This is beautiful, Deb.
Thank you, Roxy. That means the world coming from you.
Happy Anniversaryto your parents! They are indeed a blessing!
Thank you, Jen. They are, indeed!
So beautiful, Deb. I’m so grateful for the love and faith in Christ they poured into you, and that you, in turn, pour into others. Praying comfort and peace for your sweet mom.
Your prayers have meant the world, friend. Thank you so much!
Your post brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful example of Christ-like love.
And it brought tears to my eyes to know it brought tears to your eyes. Thank you, Lynn.
Happy Anniversary to your parents! They are beautiful example of Christ-like love.
Thank you so much, Caryl.
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful post, Deborah. My parents celebrated their 62 anniversary as well, back in March. They, like your parents, have been a wonderful example for all of us and I was and am truly blessed to have them for my parents. Dementia is working on my mother now and although things are changing, my dad sits with her daily and they have dinner together every night. The marriage vows we take are meant to last a lifetime. Couples, like our parents, show everyone how. They teach us from the time we arrive to them until the time they are no more.
“They teach us from the time we arrive to them until the time they are no more.”
So very true, Melanie. And I’m so grateful my parents’ example extends even to their grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
How precious to read your parent-honoring tribute, Debbie! The Proverb of blessing for honoring thy mother and thy father is surely yours. Patty and I shall always value what God did in our lives when in that small group fellowship during our Lyons years. Together, we entered the awareness and the experience of knowing that the Holy Spirit was more that a mysterious name in the doxology and Apostles’ Creed. What excitement, peace, joy, and more that we shared!
I know their memories of those days are just as sweet, Charlie. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.
Your Parents story is wonderful. Thanks so much for sharing.
I’m sending prayers and hugs for your Mother and to your family.
Thank you, Melissa. Prayers have carried us through this time. I appreciate yours so much! And the hugs too! 🙂
Now THAT is a love story! Beautiful.
My parents will soon celebrate their 50th and both sets of my grandparents were married well over 50 years, until death parted them. So I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the powerful example that strong and Godly marriages set for those blessed by them.
Thanks, Becky. It’s a really special blessing, isn’t it?
I loved reading about your sweet parents and their love for each other. Enjoy them to the fullest while you have them.
My parents celebrated 67 years together. Daddy had Alzheimers disease in his later years, but he too always knew Mama after he had forgotten my brothers and me. God took my parents home to Heaven in 2000 and 2002. They were a precious example of true love for each other and for their Lord. I miss them and look forward to seeing them soon in Heaven.
More and more I’m thinking about those reunions in Heaven. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of eternal life with You.
Deborah how beautiful. Thank you for sharing. It is a blessing to hear stories about marriages that last until death do you part.
My dad had alzheimers and it did my heart good that he never forgot who I was and that he would say funny things that would make us laugh.
God bless you all.
That’s so wonderful that your dad kept those most important memories (and his sense of humor) even after so many other memories were lost to him. A real gift!
What a beautiful story! This story needs to be read as part of premarital counseling for every Christian couple! THANK YOU for sharing your family’s story!
Thank you so much!
What a beautiful tribute to your parents! My parents were married for 61 years. My husband and I celebrated 50 in 2015.
We lost Mom first, then Dad 8 years later. He had dementia, so I know the trials and devastation that can bring. My prayers are with you and your family.
God bless you!
Thank you, Betty. I’m so sorry you had to go through that with your dad. We’ve been so grateful that Mothe still knows us and still tells us she loves us. That’s a real gift, but it’s still a blessing to know that she’ll someday be whole and well in Heaven.
What a wonderful tribute to your parents!! If our sons could say half those things about us, I would be grateful.
Thank you, Karen. I trust your sons could and will! 🙂
This brought tears to my eyes! Beautiful!
Mine too, Tobi. 🙂