Social Media: A Sort of Love/Hate Relationship

ByDeborah Raney
14 Comments
As a true extrovert with a very solitary occupation as a writer, I truly enjoy social media. Sometimes I tell people I’m not sure I could have survived my 24-year writing career without it! (Of course, there was no such thing as social media the first ten years I was writing, but I did connect with several wonderful groups of writers via e-mail loops and writers organizations.) Now, being able to connect with friends and family, and with my readers on social media—from the comfort of my office chair—helps my job not to feel so lonely and provides a virtual water cooler around which to congregate and share stories and encouragement and…life!
I must admit that I have carefully distanced myself from friends on social media whose voices are too strident or unkind or judgmental—on both ends of the political and religious spectrums. I’d rather interact with those who see the world through rose-colored glasses than those who are constantly finding the ugly and evil in everything they see. That doesn’t mean I ignore those who truly have something wise or thoughtful to say—even if it might be painful to hear. And it doesn’t mean that I don’t occasionally share on social media something that isn’t all roses and kitty cats and butterflies. But I try to make those kinds of posts the exception rather than my everyday content.

I’m a bit rare among my author friends in that I’m actually glad that my publishers all but require me to be active on social media. I’m thankful that most of the time I spend on social media, I can truthfully say I’m working. Yes, social media can be a time-waster, and it can be a temptation to go down bunny trails that no longer qualify as work. But for the most part, the time I spend on social media is an encouragement and an inspiration.

These are some of the things I share often on social media because they are the things I’m interested in:
• Items my husband and I buy at garage sales and how I use those items I paid pennies for in decorating our house.
• All things coffee: coffee mugs, coffee bars, coffee shops, coffee culture…
• Our home and yard and the houseplants I tend. We don’t live in a fancy house and we don’t have a lot of money to spend on it, but we’ve made our house a place we love to be, and we’ve found ways to improve it spending a minimal amount of money.
• The hiking and biking trails we’ve recently discovered in our town.
• Yes, I do share my writing/book news occasionally, although I try not to let my posts on social media be too “advertise-y,” and I like to share when my writer friends have book news. (Most of my writer and more “commercial” news can be found on my FACEBOOK READERS GROUP. If you’re not already hanging out with me there, I’d love to have you!)

Ever so often someone will respond to one of my photos or posts with a comment that includes the words jealous, or envious, or coveting. I don’t think those commenters actually feel jealous of me (at least I hope not!) but if they do, I hope they will unfollow me and anyone else whose posts make them feel discontent with their own lives. I know sometimes I’ve used those same words in a comment when I see that a friend is traveling in Europe—a passionate dream of mine that may or may not ever be fulfilled. When I say, “I’m so jealous!” I truly don’t mean that in a negative or cynical way. What I really mean is, “Oh, wow, you’re living my dream! And that gives me hope that someday I might get to travel where you have traveled, and if not, I love living vicariously through your posts.” The day those posts make me angry or sad or even merely discontent with the very nice (but in no way perfect) life God has given me is the day I will stop following those posts. Not because I blame the person posting them, but because I’m not mature enough to handle that kind of post right now.

I’m glad I can keep my publishers and agent happy as I quietly promote my books and at the same time get to know my readers! We’re all different, and social media certainly has its downsides and can even get flat-out ugly at times, but if, like me, you’re an extrovert forced to work in solitude, social media has a lot of upsides too, not the least of which is filling that need for interaction with other people—and at the same time being inspired by their lives and the things they share via social media.

I’d love to know how YOU view social media. Is it a necessary evil? Something you treat yourself to when you have time? Your reason for living? The bane of your existence? Or something in-between? Please do let me know in the comments! And also tell me what kind of things you like to share.

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DEBORAH RANEY's first novel, A Vow to Cherish, inspired the World Wide Pictures film of the same title and launched Deb’s writing career. Forty books later, she's still creating stories that touch hearts and lives. Her novels have won RWA's RITA Award, the ACFW Carol Award, the National Readers Choice Award, and the HOLT Medallion. She is also a four-time Christy Award finalist. Deb is on faculty for several national writers’ conferences and served on the executive board of the 2,500-member American Christian Fiction Writers organization for 18 years before retiring in 2022. She is a recent transplant to Missouri, having moved with her husband, Ken Raney, from their native Kansas to be closer to kids and grandkids. They love road trips, e-biking, Friday garage sale dates, and breakfast on the screened porch overlooking their wooded backyard.

14 Comments

  1. I am thankful you are on social media, Deb! Your posts bring a smile to my face and help me “get to know you” more both as author and friend. I use social media mostly to keep in touch with long distance family and friends, especially sharing/seeing pictures of their growing children. I enjoy Ken’s daily scripture posts, too.

  2. Thanks for your post–I need all the encouraging I can get when it comes to social media! (It’s currently among the biggest forms of stress in my life). I have only just sprung onto the scene, having studiously avoided everything but blogs and Goodreads since college, but then this spring I was contracted to illustrate a children’s book. My introverted self just naively assumed that I shall draw pictures, send them to the publisher, and quietly bow out as the author gets all the glory.

    Nope.

    Now suddenly I have a book being published in January that I’m 50% responsible for, and I’m scrambling to catch up with a Facebook page, genuine website, and contemplating if I can actually handle the other recommended platforms when just the basics–like even coming up with things to post about–feel overwhelming.

    It’s good to know that social media CAN be encouraging, and maybe keeping that as the focus in what I do and what I interact with will help it become easier!

    1. I think that’s good advice you’re giving yourself, Rachael! (And congratulations on the new book! How exciting!)

      One tip someone gave me that really helped when social media was all new: choose one or two venues, maybe Facebook and Twitter, and concentrate on those while you “minor” in the others. I’m not a fan of Twitter so, even though I do have a Twitter account, I concentrate on the other venues I enjoy more, especially Instagram and Facebook.

  3. I love social media for the opposite reason – I am an introvert and I love to connect with people and share parts of my life from the comfort of my own home. It feels safer and less risky. I think it also helps me push myself to get out and connect with people in ‘real life.’

  4. I liked how you said that you hope people who feel jealous, envious, etc. because of your posts unfollow you. I think that is a risk of social media and if that’s a problem for us, we should unfollow whatever is making us discontent. I love it for decorating ideas!

    1. I love it for decorating ideas too. There are some I once followed who spent TONS of money to re-do their homes every few months. I unfollowed many of those because I simply don’t have the means to do that. But the ones who decorate with what they have, or find creative ways to get expensive-looking decor for mere dollars…they inspire me and give me ideas I can use! Thanks so much for your comment.

  5. Most of my Facebook friends are from the same schools we all attended. Even though we were not in the same grades. I keep up with my family and what is happening in their lives. One of my granddaughters just returned from a trip to Europe. Sent lots of pictures on FB. I collect thimbles. Family and friends have given me many from all over the world. Love to read, but am getting picky in my old age. lol One of the best books I have read lately is by Susan Mallery, When We Found Home. I utilize the local library, even though, I am literally buried in books.

  6. Social media is a fine line to walk for me. I used to be really into facebook, but I was spending so much time on it! Now, I try to be mindful of how much time I’m spending on social media. It’s still easy to get distracted and spend half an hour scrolling!

  8. For me, social media is a blessing! I somehow connected with a fan group for the Hallmark show When Calls the Heart, and have immersed myself in all things Hearties for the last 5 years. That led me to find several authors who are also fans, opening up a world of connection with amazing authors and readers who have been virtual friends, Among “my people” there are smaller groups who have become family. I work from home, sometimes find it difficult to connect, and have friends that are scattered here and there, so social media has helped to make the world much smaller for me so I can grow & nurture the relationships that are really meaningful to me. And don’t get me started on the virtues of Skype!

    1. Oh, I couldn’t agree more about Skype since all our grandkids live far away!! It is a modern-day miracle that we can “visit” our kids without leaving home.

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