The Reality of Romance
Romance is hard work.
In our novels, we often stop at the point that a couple is discovering and leaning into their new love — unless it’s a marriage of convenience, and then they have to learn to love each other as newly married strangers. They go through struggles to reach that point, real barriers, but then the book closes with an acknowledgment that life won’t necessarily be easy, but as long as they have each other they will make it.
I love reading a well crafted romance with a richly layered hero and heroine. I may know it’s a foregone conclusion they will get together, but I want to remember the fun of young love.
I love going to weddings and anniversary celebrations. Joining with others as we dance and celebrate.
Then there are weeks like this one. A week where I hear about a high profile couple that is separating, and my heart becomes heavy. Anyone who’s been married past the honeymoon phase will tell you marriage is work. It takes intentionality and effort to keep the relationship healthy through the seasons of real life. The merging of two unique people with their stuff and lives. The addition of one or more disruptive little humans. The question of which career will take the lead for a season. Aging parents. Illness. Job loss or change. There are so many seasons and points that can put stress and strain on this key relationship.
When the stress becomes intense, it takes a willing humbleness to seek help. My husband and I call those tune-ups that have helped us at different points. This week, I’ve been reminded not to take it for granted that my husband and I are in a good season as we near twenty-five years. That hasn’t always been the case, and we have benefitted from dogged determination at times. I am blessed to have a husband who is willing to work on and for us. Not everyone does. I have watched and prayed as dear friends and family endured a divorce they desperately didn’t want–reinforcing that both have to want to make the marriage work.
Marriage is a living parable of the relationship Jesus wants to have with each of us. That is why it is under constant attack. This week I’ve been reminded to pray for the marriages around me including my own.
I think this is why the books we write are important, too. There’s such value to showing what can be. The reminder that we can love each other like Jesus does –even if it’s a shadow of how He loves. I still think about one of Rachel Hauck’s books where the theme was loving well. That resonated and impacted me on a deep level. I now find myself asking if I am loving well.
That’s part of the power of fiction.
Today I want to giveaway a copy of my latest novel. This romance had so many barriers…it was almost too much fun to write.
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Beautiful post, Cara. I’m cracking up though because we think too much alike. I just shared the Winne the Pooh quote in yesterday’s post. LOL.
I love the Bronte quote a well.
Hope you have a lovely day.
Dani, I had to laugh when you said we used the same quote. Great minds!
I love your books, Cara, but I haven’t read Flight Risk. So, I’d love to win it, then read it, and write a review.
Good luck!
I love those around me well by being a good listener, being there for them when they need me, and praying for them.
Such great ways to do that.
August 19th was our 51 Anniversary. We have weathered the storms of life and grown old together. I won’t say it’s always been easy. He snores like a power saw. So do I. He’s stay one to a fault but I’m a little that y too and I’m temperamental too. I think the hardest time we went through was when our daughter was a teenager . Before she grew up we actually talked divorce but that’s all it was. Talk. Somehow we got past the dysfunctional family state we were in and got on the other side of it. My daughter grew up and became a RN and today works with Covid 19 patients and we couldn’t be more proud of her. We are great grandparents . Now we are in the winter of our lives. My husband has health issues and is somewhat disabled. He’s my best friend whom I love dearly.
Well you didn’t ask for the story of my life and I may have got a bit carried away here but marriage to someone you love is worth working on and nourishing through the years.
Shirley, so much wisdom and love in your words. 51 years is an amazing feat. Praying for you both!
Right now it seems to be by keeping my mouth shut! I want to offer advice to my adult daughter but know she doesn’t want to hear it!
Joan, it’s so hard to stay silent when we have wisdom to offer.
We are entering our 4th decade of marriage, which started with friendship while in school/college. Was a good foundation.
Cathy, that is wonderful! Congratulations! Friendship is such a great foundation for marriage.
I love those around me by listening to what people say and being supportive. I also pray for them when they’re going through difficult times.
Prayer is a wonderful way to love well.
I try to love well by listening to them and praying for them.
Those are great ways to do that.
I love others well around me by trying to be encouraging and always listening and not just offering advice they didn’t ask for. All someone needs sometimes is to have a person to talk to and for that person to be an open ear.
Thank you for the giveaway chance, Cara!
I try to listen and I always pray for those around me Thank you for the amazing giveaway Cara!
I love those around me by extending grace and acceptance.
Thanks for sharing this. I’ m trying hard to tell a good story -recognise that I’m drawn to the theme of a ‘ second chance.’