A lot of my writer friends and reader friends know I have Lupus. I’m pretty open about it and the fact that I have three autoimmune disorders. I try hard not to let my disorders rule my life. If I’m completely honest, I try my best to defy them. It’s the rebellious nature in me when told no regarding my health. I don’t like being limited or having to curtail the things I’d love to do at times because my health dictates otherwise.
This is one of those times. Earlier this Spring, I took a three-week book tour across three states. I had the best time with my writer friend Becky Wade as we toured together, seeing the wonderful Lynn Gentry and making new writing friends Natalie Walters and Jaime Ogle. If you haven’t read these authors, you’re missing out.
I loved meeting readers in person, especially ones I’ve known online for years. It was wonderful to be able to sit down and chat books, writing and life with them.
However, and I think you saw this coming, given the title of the post, upon my return home, my Lupus flared and wouldn’t calm down. I saw multiple doctors, had tests, and a lot of lab work, and it still wouldn’t calm down after an intense steroid shot and a double course of oral steroids. It concerned my doctors so much, I heard the word I dread hearing regarding my health—no.
But this wasn’t any small no—at least not to me. This was a BIG no. No traveling for work for three months, which resulted in me having to do something I hate doing—saying no. I had to pull out of trips I’d committed to. Had to “clear the deck,” as it were, for the bulk of the summer.
My health is still not where it needs to be, but I trust my doctors and know they’ll get me back on the path of wellness in spite of Lupus. But I have been blessed by their ‘no’ at the same time. Not traveling has freed up more time for writing and, more importantly, more time with family. Kids grow up in the blink of an eye, so having more time with my grandkids, even if it’s just hanging in the pool with them, has blessed me beyond measure.
Do I like being told no? Absolutely not, especially when I feel limited by my health, but I’m slowly healing up and am now looking forward to the slow days of summer I used to love.
Do I feel awful for letting readers down? Yes. Absolutely! And, event organizers? Absolutely! But everyone has been so kind and gracious, wishing me well and praying for my health. I’ve been so touched by their grace. What about you? Have you ever had to say no to a good thing?
Best,
Dani
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Sorry to hear about your flare up and will be praying after this ‘no’ time, you’ll be feeling much better.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it!
I have a saying: “If I push, I pay.” Adrenal fatigue has limited activities for much of my life, so I can relate to having to say no to good things. Though it goes against the grain, may your summer of rest be restorative as you enjoy the best things.
Blessings,
Jill
That’s a great saying. Thanks so much for shirring it and for your kind words about having a restorative summer. So true.
Sometimes God tells us “No” because He has something much better for us. Your plan may have been great, but His is greater. I found out the hard way too. Should have quit my job and retired when He told me to. I ended up in the hospital with Covid and double pneumonia and almost died. I had peace, found out who my true friends are, and love my life again. Family time and less stress!!
You’re getting the joy of spending time with family and writing-those are truly kingdom pursuits!
I hate that you are suffering, and pray that God brings healing and that your Lupus goes into remission again very soon. Can’t say I’m disappointed about the writing though…I can’t wait for your next book!!! Feel better!!
Oh no! That’s terrible you had to go through that. You’re right. Times like that really show who are true friends are. Thank you so much for your prayers and writing encouragement. I deeply appreciate it.
I’m so sorry to hear about your health struggles, Dani. I too have a hard time saying no, hence going to the Blue Ridge Conference in 2022 when I was covered head to toe in a debilitating rash. I made it through the week, but not without pain and hardship. Like you, I keep pushing myself until I just can’t anymore. I pray you get the rest and recovery time you need over these three months!
Oh my goodness. That had to be so difficult. Thank you so much for your prayers and I’ll keep you in prayer too. It is so hard not to push yourself. I completely get that. Here’s hoping we both slow down 🙂
My health has been a seesaw these last few years, so I have had to become very comfortable with “no”. I have enjoyed doing less and being present with my family; most of the time, I don’t feel too guilty about saying no. 😛 I will be praying for the return of your health and a restful summer.
I’m so sorry about your health, butt that’s wonderful you’ve become comfortable saying no. Good for you! That’s wonderful about less doing and being present. Thank you so much for your prayers. I appreciate them..
I pray that your time of “no” will be a time of rest and recovery. I’m thankful that things are improving little by little, Dani, and I pray that you will continue to find healing. Surrender is one of the hardest things the Lord asks of us. I’d offer advice, but I’m still working on that one, myself. Every day.
Thank you so much, friend. You are so right about surrender. It is one of the hardest things. LOL! Love your honesty.
Saying no is hard, but when it’s for one’s health, it’s imperative. I’ve been there. Three autoimmune diseases, too.
Oh my goodness. I didn’t realize you had three two. I’m be praying for your health <3
Sending prayers 🙏
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.