Theology by Kids

ByAngela Hunt
8 Comments

I found this in a file and thought you might enjoy it as much as I did.

  Judeo-Christian Theology As Explained By Children
 

The following are answers given by students from Williamston
  Presbyterian Church, So. Carolina, to test questions on the Bible as
  printed in the 12/31/95 issue of “National Review”:
 
  

The first book of the Bible is Guinness’s, in which Adam and Eve were
  created from an apple tree.
 
  

Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
 
 

 Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
 


  Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
 
 

 Unleavened bread is bread made without ingredients.
 
  

Moses went to the top of Mt. Cyanide to get the 10 commandments.
 
 

 The seventh commandment is “thou shalt not admit adultery.”
 
 

 Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
 
  

David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in 
Biblical times.
 


  Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
 


  Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
 


  The people who followed Jesus was called the 12 decibels.
 


  The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
 
  

One of the opossums was St. Matthew.
 
 

 Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
 


  A Christian should have only one wife.  This is called monotony.
  

Enjoy! 

~~Angie 

P.S. I asked AI to create an image to go with this post. First I asked for “a group of children in church listening to a woman teach the Bible.” Result? A group of children who looked as somber as Puritans.

Then I asked for a “group of happy children” etc. And got images like the one below. Every single child was golden and glowing.

Then I asked for a “diverse group of happy children” etc. and got more of the same.

Then I asked for a racially mixed group of happy children and got images where every child was black.

Then I asked for a “group of happy black and white children” and got images of black children . . . in black and white, not color.

I learned one thing: AI refuses to believe that black and white children could go to church together. Isn’t that sad?

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Christy-Award winner Angela Hunt writes for readers who expect the unexpected in novels. With over five million copies of her books sold worldwide, she is the best-selling author of more than 165 works ranging from picture books (The Tale of Three Trees) to non-fiction books, to novels.

8 Comments

  1. Angie, I’m recovering from an illness, and your post was just the tonic I needed to begin the day. My favorite? “The epistles were the wives of the apostles.” I think I’ll remember that every time I read one of the letters. AI images can be awesome and they can be frustrating as all get out, too. I tried to get one with a woman and horse but it added a cowboy on horseback in the distance. I said, “Eliminate the other cowboy.” It added three more. So apparently cowboys on horseback can never be eliminated, only multiplied.

    1. LOL! AI usually adds arms and legs and hands to human figures. It can be frustrating, but when it works, it’s great! Love the multiplying cowboys.

    1. Makes me miss Art Linkletter and his section with kids. Always adorable–and I was a kid when I watched it!

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