In 2012 my family spent two months in Hannover, Germany, while I taught a graduate class. It was an incredible trip. One we continue to talk about as a key part of our family history.
Yet it wasn’t until we were about to come back that I learned the contract for Shadowed by Grace was on the way.
Why would that matter? Because we only had one free weekend left before we flew home, and we choose to spend that with friends we had made, rather than force a trip to Italy into the plans. A part of me has always regretted that. I spent so much time researching and writing about Tuscany during World War II, that readers who had traveled to the area couldn’t believe I’d never been. But I hadn’t.
Still it has been a deep desire of mine to visit. So much so that I teased Eric our 20th anniversary would be in Italy. I just knew we had to come see this amazing place.
Now we are here. Sunday evening I had a welcome dinner with 
29 undergrads I’ll be shepherding the next 4 weeks. Two weeks I’ll be with them every day as I teach. The rest of the time, I will be connecting with them frequently and attending day trips with them.
The incredible part? We are in the heart of Tuscany. The heart of where Shadowed by Grace occurred. And it’s only a few months after our 20th anniversary!
And it got me thinking, what if God gives us the desires of our heart?
You see, the first trip to Germany, I spent so much time focused on what I was supposed to learn and how I was supposed to change as a result that my dad finally had to remind me that sometimes our Abba Daddy simply gives good gifts. And now it’s happened again. In the realm of eternity, does it truly mattered that we spend these four weeks here? I don’t know.
But here we are. Exploring and growing as a family with the help of a language barrier and new experiences. We’re back to learning how to use public transportation, find the grocery store, the laundry, etc.
It’s daunting.
And it’s wonderful.
What’s the quiet what-if in your heart? What’s the dream you almost don’t dare to hold up to God? What would happen if you dared to voice your dream to the God who already knows it. What if He gave it to you? What if?
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I’m just glad God knows what’s best for us and doesn’t always give us what we think we want. I look back over the years and see what a mess I would have made of my life if he allowed me to have what I wanted. To me even a trip that gets postponed or canceled is a sign he’s looking out for me. Only he knows the future.
Amen, Gail. I firmly believe as we seek Him, He changes my heart to match His desires. And I do see His hand in the times He says No. I just want to live in a way I dont get too scared to ask either.
Good questions to contemplate, Cara. I know God is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine!
Thanks, Lynn. I know for me, I can sometimes forget the Good Father aspect of God. And part of that is giving good gifts. He is so much more than I will ever understand on this side of heaven.
Thank you for that timely word. It confirms something spoken to me only six days ago [and here I am, tearing up just thinking about it]. I’m still waiting, but I’ll keep holding on to the dream!
Oh, Rachel! You just blessed me. It is a thrill to know that this could be a confirmation to you of something God is whispering to your heart. Keep chasing Him and keep believing.
How fantastic!! Have a wonderful time in Tuscany.
It has been amazing so far. Tomorrow: Florence. SQUEEEE!
Cara, I’m so excited that your family has the opportunity — the gift — to spend so much time in Italy. I must agree with those other folks who told you they couldn’t believe you’d never been there before. Shadowed by Grace was that realistic and beautiful. One of my favorite books of all time.
What’s my what if? What if my husband-to-be was to pop into my life one of these days?
It’s not really a quiet what-if. God’s already heard this wish-dream from me dozens of times over the years, if not hundreds. And I’ve tried really hard to listen for His guidance. Sometimes I hear pretty clearly a “he’s coming” or “soon” from God, yet other times He remains silent. Those are the toughest moments (and one I happen to be in right now, so will you please pray that I make it through the quiet by the grace of our God?). They stretch my faith and test my hope and patience almost to the limit… and then I discover that God’s set the limit a bit farther than I had imagined, that I can stand more loneliness and singleness than I ever thought possible… and that the hope of companionship and marriage and family is all the brighter for having gone through the days, weeks, months of God’s silence on the subject. It’s in the silence that I tend to grow the most. Why is that? I have no idea right now, but I’ll be interested to see what God tells me about it. (This comment is so eye-opening to me right now. Love it when God speaks to my heart when I’m least expecting it.)
Enjoy your time in Italy, my friend. Maybe another book will come from it? Hey, a girl can hope.
Hugs,
Andrea
Andrea, I love your heart, Friend. God will bring the gift at the right time. Cling to Him and keep learning in the silence. I hate those desert times, but itàs in them that I learn to trust His heart when I cannot always see His hand. Praying that God will bring Your Prince CHarming, but that your greatest love affair will always be with Jesus first. May this be a time like when the angel came to Daniel, before you prayed, God sent me with the answer, but I had to battle my way to you.
Cara, thank you for your prayers and for that picture of Daniel. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I appreciate and cherish your encouragement!
How wonderful and exciting for you and your family! Enjoy every moment. 🙂