Our middle child—our oldest son—got married almost 2 weeks ago. It was lovely and joyful, as weddings are. But it wasn’t perfect. In fact, it seemed every moment was fraught with the tension of plans going awry. A wedding band that
Wedding day morning. Perfect.
didn’t get shipped before the wedding. Thunderstorms hovering in the forecast over the rehearsal and wedding day. The deluge of rain that appeared in both instances—one during the outdoor rehearsal, another just after the outdoor ceremony ended and the guests had sprinted to the covered reception area. (The immediate family and wedding party didn’t dash—we were hoping for pictures!) Wet clothes and shoes and hair. Some reception glitches. But in the end, as I’d reminded them many times in the week prior to The Day, in spite of all of the unexpected elements, they left married and happy.
I confess, in the moment I was stressed. I’d wanted them to have perfection—a fairy tale wedding. And there were those moments. But there seemed to be more “wrong” moments than right ones that day.
Yet when I arrived home after that whirlwind weekend, I discovered something I couldn’t see in the midst of it. While catching up with friends and relating the wedding details, I realized that without all the mishaps there really wouldn’t have been much of a story to tell. It would have beautiful and perfect and happy. The end. Instead, describing the event was a drawn out process full of groans and laughter, of sparking other stories of other wedding days on both sides of the conversation, of deepening friendships and getting to knowing one another a little more. And that made me happy.
Then it occurred to me that this is the same thing we do as writers of fiction. Our stories chronicle all that goes wrong for our characters because without those hurdles we don’t engage the reader, capture their interest, deepen their understanding of themselves and others. Without the mishaps, there wouldn’t be a compelling story. Or inner growth. It’s why fiction resonates, teaches us even as it entertains.
My son and daughter-in-law will experience this in the coming years as they share—and laugh about—the story of 
their wedding and all that went “wrong.” And they’ll celebrate that in the midst of the chaos, it ended as it should have, with a bride and groom becoming a Mr. & Mrs., the two of them driving off into the night with a little more confidence that they will weather storms together and survive, find the moments of perfection without the pressure of a perfect life. And as Christians, we get the added bonus of the anticipation of an eternally happy ending in Jesus.
What was the most stressful thing that went “wrong” at your wedding or a family member or friend’s wedding? Do you laugh about it now?
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I love this, Anne! So much truth for life here. After a stressful, difficult time in our lives, a friend gave us a framed photo of our family. Around the frame was this quote: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” And there’s so much to be said for the joy and beauty of dancing in the rain!
Yes! And as much as we want always sunshine, the rain can bring even greater joy, sometimes in the moment, sometimes in the aftermath. 🙂
Wonderful tale of how everything works out in the end.
I remember a few ‘blips’ at a friend’s daughter’s wedding that we laughed about later. The bride’s veil caught on fire while they were kneeling at the altar, and the groom blew it out. No one knew it happened until they told about it at the reception. While waiting for the wedding party to arrive for the reception, we saw the wedding cake begin to slide, and a friend made a mad dash to keep it from crashing to the floor. But everything turned out okay.
Congratulations to your son and his new wife!
Those are great moments! And yet they ended up married all the same. 🙂 And provided moments that will never be forgotten! Thanks for sharing!
Congratulations, D’Ann! Weddings are so full of love and hope and promise for the future. But you are so right that it’s the things that go wrong that make them memorable.
We had a ring incident, as well. My hubby’s from Texas, we were marrying in my home state of California. He forgot the wedding band. His best man had to break in to his apartment to get the ring then nearly missed his flight. They got delayed and he had to speed from LA to Lompoc (3 hour drive away, well, less the way Greg drove that day) to get to the wedding on time. A cop followed him into the church parking lot but graciously let him off with a warning. I was blissfully unaware of all this drama. When it was time for the rings in the ceremony, Wes slid mine onto my finger just as he was supposed to, but afterward when we were taking pictures, everyone on the groom’s side knew the instant Wes told me by the utter shock on my face. Too bad the photographer didn’t capture that moment. 🙂
Oh my goodness! That’s so funny! At least our ring incident (ended up with a loaner!) was separate from our daughter sprinting through the airport to make her flight to be at her brother’s wedding! 🙂
On my part, I stepped on the hem of my dress as I climbed the several steps up into the chancel area of our church. Fortunately I also caught myself before tripping and lifted up my dress. On my husband’s part, he shook an inordinate amount of baby powder into his crotch as he dressed after showering. I noticed as we drove to the reception that he resembled a bunny rabbit with a white puff of powder visible in the front rather than in the rear for a tail.
Lol! Those are certainly moments you won’t forget!
My middle son’s beach wedding happened to coincide with the arrival of a tropical storm. While my brother drove from Texas to Florida, he called and asked me what our Plan B was. We didn’t have one. I just prayed like crazy for the storm to move through quickly. The rehearsal had to take place in the rental home where the bridal party was staying because it was raining so hard. The next morning as I picked up the flowers, the sun briefly broke through clouds before the sky became overcast again. However, the rain was gone, and that afternoon, right after they were announced man and wife, the sunset appeared over the water to make the most amazing wedding beach photos ever. God is Good.
Very cool! I love how the Lord gives us gifts in storms! We got our sunshine on the front end of the day. The mother of the bride said she had been praying the rain would hold off until the ceremony was over. As we were huddled under a small archway in the deluge, she said she should have prayed for it to hold off until after pictures! 🙂
My niece’s wedding was held on a boat in Lake Michigan. During the wedding a huge storm blew in and the landing was demolished. We had to debark at an alternate dock that was at least 12 feet below. My brother was wheelchair bound and several men had to lift him down to the waiting arms of other men. As he was making the scary descent I heard him say, “I survived the Navy only to lose my life at a wedding.” Everyone still talks about that wedding!
Wow! What a story for all to tell! A wedding on a boat would certainly have been memorable anyway, but now even more so! 🙂