I’m excited to introduce you to debut novelist Kimberly Duffy! Her first book, A Mosaic of Wings, released last month. I’m looking forward to reading this historical fiction set in late 19th century India! I decided to save it for after the big move with my daughter so I wouldn’t be distracted. Enough said. Now here’s Kimberly:
My husband broke our car in an effort to find his passport this winter. I didn’t realize it until a few weeks ago because he was able to jam it shut, but then the glove box door flipped open and smacked my knee.
I hate broken things.
They make me feel anxious, out of control, and I tend to obsess over them until they’re fixed.
Broken glove boxes, broken photo frames, broken furniture, broken relationships.
Broken people.
Not that I hate broken people, but I do want to fix them. To understand why they’re shattered. To figure out how to put them back together again. I like answers. Concrete and undeniable. This whole grey-space living? So uncomfortable.
My child has ADD…was it because I ate a vegan diet when I nursed her?
My friend is struggling with depression. Is there anything I can do to help her regain her balance?
My sibling is suffering from a trauma decades old. Why can she not find freedom?
I need to understand, God.
I have four decades of living in this broken, fractured, far-from-ideal world. Four decades of watching people stumble around, battered hearts held in scarred palms. Four decades of self-examination, trying to make sense of my own splintered soul.
Twenty years of living and loving a man whose own memories are stabbed by shards of abuse and neglect.
Lord, how do I heal his pain?
Four kids who have, no matter how much I’ve tried to make the best decisions—the right decisions—experienced pain and trial and struggle.
Lord, what have I done to cause this?
Years of watching friends whose lives are turned upside down by pornography, adultery, unfulfilled dreams, illness, and loss.
Lord, there must be SOMETHING I can do to fix this.
But there is nothing. It’s his pain. Their journey. Her decision.
And I’m beginning to see there’s a kind of bittersweet beauty in those empty spaces and broken places. Fixing them—piecing everything back together with glue and thread—isn’t meant to be the answer.
Because it’s in our brokenness that we yearn for eternity. It’s when we begin to crack and show signs of tension and stress that we recognize our need for salvation. It’s into those unanswered questions and grey spaces that God whispers.
By my stripes, you are healed.
In your weakness, my power is made perfect.
I am near the brokenhearted. The crushed in spirit.
I’ve been writing a long time and there are certain things you can expect from my books—a lush setting with descriptive passages inspired by teen years spent reading classic novels, a sprinkle of romance that builds slowly, and always, by design, characters who are tattered and broken.
Maybe it’s because they are the only type of people I’m actually able to fix. Or maybe it’s because I’m a little obsessed with all the grace that fills ugly, hopeless, empty places. But whatever the reason, I hope readers see the beauty of brokenness in my stories. And then consider that, perhaps, it’s not our job to patch everything up so that seams match and things work just so and all the answers are fleshed out and spilled in ink upon life’s pages.
Because there’s a God who is strong in our frailty. His stitches, his mending, his filling and repairing is all we can rely on. And even where it seems things are unrepairable—unanswerable—His grace is made sufficient.
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Anna says
Wow! Kimberly’s book sounds great! Life doesn’t have to be perfect. If it were perfect, it wouldn’t be Earthly life.
Kimberly says
I remind myself all the time in those moments of pain and loss that they’re a reminder of a greater purpose and another home.
Karen Witemeyer says
What a beautiful post, Kimberly. I’m a fixer by nature, too. Drives my daughter crazy, although my boys rather like Mom taking care of them. Ha! Some of the biggest faith steps I’ve taken are realizing that I can’t fix the deep things. Only God can. How that realization has enriched my prayer life! Repeatedly going to the One with the power to heal and repair and restore when I feel helpless to fix things for others. Now if I can just master this patience thing for when His process is not as quick as I would prefer. Sigh. Some things need surgery instead of band aids.
Kimberly says
Ahh… patience. I think writing has taught me a lot about that. Or rather, pursuing publishing has. I never realized I was a fixer until I had kids.
Donna Howe says
Thank you, Anne, for introducing Kimberly. Her book is now on my TBR list. Good post. We all go through tough, trying times, and that’s when our faith increases and we grow (hopefully) closer and closer to Him. 🙌❤️
Kimberly says
Yes! It’s in my most pain-filled moments that I draw near to God.
Sara beth says
What a timely message for me. I’d even say a confirmation – as I’ve just finished my morning bible reading, which also touched on the power of God’s grace in forgiving us.
This fixing of other peoples’ lives is something I struggle with. So many broken people I can’t fix have made me feel heavy-hearted and out of control and helpless as of late. Thank you for this reminder today.
Also I LOVE broken characters. They’re my favorite to read. I gravitate toward them in books, movies, TV. Maybe it’s because they’re the ones that have the most opportunity in which to grow and become great again. If only things in life worked out as quickly and neatly as in stories. But I love reading these reminders of God’s grace. Thank you!
Kimberly says
I’m so glad this was a confirmation for you! I’ve spent a lot of time wondering on God’s grace–I think because I’m not a naturally gracious person and it takes a lot of mental gymnastics to even make a bit of sense of how much He pours out on us.
Esther O'Neill says
Thank-you for this powerful writing – parts of it painful, including the guilt and self-blame over things you can’t change. …
For months now – and I think instinctively, we’ve been mending broken and imperfect things, close to WWII ‘ Make do & Mend’ .
Mending broken relationships would be good too. Not always possible,
Kimberly Duffy says
It’s not always possible to mend broken relationships and that’s caused the most pain in my life.