Goals, Intentions, and Expectations

Here we stand at the beginning of a new year. And for so many of us, our minds turn to yearly goals. I’ve been thinking a lot about that these past couple of weeks. A few years ago I shifted toward “intentions” instead of “goals.” It helped me be less stressed when life interfered and made my goals if not impossible, at least much more difficult. 

But this year, I’ve been reevaluating that a bit. And in the midst, the Holy Spirit whispered for me to add expectations in the mix of my thinking. I’ve tried to think about not only the meanings of all those words—as well as their implications—but also how my thinking about them might affect me for both good and bad. I thought maybe some of you could use my musings to look to these ideas and how they play out in your life. 

Goals

My “goal” of moving away from labeling things as goals was to eliminate some of the stress in my life. Granted, it was totally stress I was putting on myself. The stress of avoiding failure. Of feeling like a failure. And that was good. Changing semantics did, indeed, relieve me of berating myself for unmet goals. However, it also did something not so good: it removed the immediacy I needed to push myself toward tasks that weren’t easy or enjoyable. Thus, I believe the change in terms has affected my overall productivity. 

However, in working through my thoughts on this, I realized that there are reasons to label some things “goals” and other “intentions.” One has to do with how much of the outcome is in my hands. For example, my goals list right now consists of things that are completely within my ability to control. For example, I read several books each month but rarely is one of them non-fiction. My goal this year is to read one non-fiction book a month. I will read, so it’s simply a choice of what to read. I need more than an “intention” to read a non-fiction book. I need it to be a goal. 

The same applies to posting my blog links to my personal Facebook profile. These automatically populates on my Facebook author page, but I have never been good at sharing them with my “friends.” I imagined it would be bothersome to them and embarrassing to me. It isn’t that I haven’t had time to do this. It’s that I haven’t had the courage. And so that is another goal for me this year—to share that link each week with the people who know me from various phases of my life. It’s an action solely within my control and doesn’t require any extra time, only determination and follow-through.

Intentions

But some things on my list for 2023 remain intentions very purposefully. These are things I can’t completely control, though I do have a measure of control. It’s about priority, certainly, but it’s also those things that life can definitely derail. 

For example, my intention this year is to write a new novella as a freebie to my newsletter subscribers. I can certainly do this, but the truth is my contracted work, both writing and editing, will come before this project. It is something I intend to do this year. I will work to make space for it in my schedule. But there are things which could definitely jump in and take priority over it. By not having it as a true “goal,” I can relieve the stress of feeling like a failure if it doesn’t get done. Yet placing it as an intention puts it higher on my priority radar than if I’d left it as only a thought or desire. 

Expectations

As I’ve thought through goals and intentions, I’ve also come to see that the feelings of accomplishment or failure in relation to them ultimately come back to expectations. I don’t know about you, but I have often lived with unrealistic expectations in both my personal and professional life. I’ve worked on that through the years, but expectations have a tendency to creep in even when you don’t realize they are there. I expect my schedule to work as I plan it. But that doesn’t always happen. I expect that because I’ve written a certain number of words in a certain timeframe that it will happen every time. It doesn’t. 

What I’m beginning to understand is that expectations are inevitable. The questions is, what are my expectations grounded in? In the above examples, the expectations are all tethered to me. To my discipline or my brain power or simply my desires. 

But what if my expectations were grounded in the Lord? What if expected that when the Lord  interrupts my plans (as He will!), that He’ll give the time back to me in other ways? What if I expected God to bestow mercy, to give good gifts, to order my days with His priorities over my own? 

Guess what? If my expectations are grounded in God and His character, they will never go unmet! Imagine that! Even when life doesn’t look as I imagine, I can trust the God will not go against His character. And as I was recently reminded by author Dane Ortland in his book Gentle and Lowly, God tells us what we can expect of His character: 

I don’t know about you, but those are the expectations I’d love to have—that all the Lord allows to pass through to me would come through his heart of compassion, graciousness, patience, lovingkindness and truth.

So that’s were I am here at the beginning of 2023—balancing goals and intentions while continuing to evaluate what I’ve chosen as the bedrock of my expectations. 

What about you? Have you struggled in setting goals? Have you berated yourself for not meeting the ones you set? I’d love to hear about your journey with goals, intentions, and expectations.