I’ve always dreaded gray hair. Maybe that’s because my hairdresser found several gray strands on my head before I graduated from high school! From my late teens through my early 40s, I waged war against going gray, first with drug store color, then with highlights and lowlights. But somewhere in my mid-40s I made peace with gray hair. Not that I wanted it then, mind you. I was just okay with it “someday.”
Until gray hair decided to up the ante. As I inched over 50, I suddenly found the gray overtaking me in shorter periods of time. My expenses of time and money went up in my effort to hold gray at bay.
At that point, I knew one wedding was on the horizon. Not long after the first one, I knew there would be another. I decided when the weddings were finished, so was my hair color. It was earlier than I thought I’d reach that conclusion. My original thought had been to let it go when there were grandchildren. But I guess it was a good thing I’d made up my mind because shortly after the second wedding, the previously wed couple announced our first grand baby!
I had an awesome colorist in Austin who worked with me on this. We began using temporary color so that the gray could grow out beneath the color, which would fade over time. Then we began a temporary color that just washed over the gray, again letting it grow out beneath. And every 6-8 months, I did a pretty significant haircut, too.
I’m not fully gray yet, but I’m definitely getting there! And I haven’t minded it at all, even though I will likely be fully gray before my mother is—and she has never colored her hair! I thought gray hair would make me feel old. Instead, I feel empowered because I don’t have to hide part of the way God made me. And I can embrace that my gray hair shows I have some experience with life. Of course it also helps that I have friends who rock their gray!
So what is your feeling on this issue? To gray or not to gray? Of course I know a lot depends on your age, your coloring, the color and texture of the gray you get, and even your personality! Still, I’d like to hear your perspective.
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I will be 35 in May and just found my first gray hair a couple of months ago. My younger brother will be 33 in July and has been going gray since high school. He’s already salt and pepper with extra salt while I just have this one gray hair that I can hide, but his hair is thick while mine is thin. So I think I would rather have the gray!
Very true!
Ann, I feel like a woman’s hair is solely personal choice and what others think doesn’t really matter. If you and your husband are happy with it, that is truly what matters. Just for the record, I think your and your friends hair look great!
Very true. I just never thought I’d get to the point of being okay with my gray. Like Jo March, I’ve long thought of my hair as my one beauty, so the thought of gray was kind of a defeat. I find it interesting that now my perspective has changed! And yes, seeing my friends’ hair has helped that. 🙂
I colored my hair for quite awhile, but after a bit, it was never right. I always looked like an older man we knew who had his hair dyed (very obviously). Plus I was so much work. I didn’t go gradual like you. I just stopped coloring and let it grow out. There was an ugly year, but with haircuts…I survived. It’s not all gray, but more gray is growing. Your hair looks gorgeous!
You are so brave! I’m impressed! I fear I had too much vanity to go cold turkey, but I’m happy with where I am now.
Good for you, D’Ann! I’m still hiding mine. 🙂 I have the four-corners of gray, above both ears and at each corner above my forehead. I’m doing the highlight thing now, but I started that even before the gray hit. I turn 50 this year, so I know the gray will only grow. I love your idea about easing into the transition. I’ll have to remember that.
Those are the trouble spots, aren’t they?I think it’s a much easier transition when you start more toward blond. My colorist at one point took me too blond trying to get ahead of the gray and it completely washed me out, so I was much happier letting my natural dark color and the gray come through together.
I think your gray is beautiful!
My mom was only partially gray at 89 when she died. My sister has been fighting gray for many years. I have the gray in front and my hairdresser says I have a solid white/gray section on top/back. I love that my gray is white and helps pep up my blonde hair. Years ago I did the highlights and came to love the combination so feel lots better about eventually going one color.
Thank you! My mom is barely more salt than pepper–and she’s almost 77! I love that my gray is most white, too. I did at one point think I’d go back to color if it wasn’t a pretty gray! 🙂
It is a conundrum for me. I have been coloring blonde for quite a while and I will be 72 in May. But this covid thing has me coloring less often and my hair is waaaaay too long. I don’t see the gray roots when I look in the mirror though. I have been told by a hairdresser that the color blonde I chose looks natural.
My mother had beautiful white hair and she lived to be 101. She went gray very early, I think she had some gray in her 20s .
I’m still deciding, I still have a box of dye in the cupboard.
I commend you for going natural. I’m kinda scared to see what’s under there!
My friend in the picture with the beautiful long wavy gray hair went from blond to gray a lot more seamlessly than my brown to gray! I know what you mean about covid. I think it pushed me a little further along that I would be at this point.
I am 74 and have been wearing a wig since my mid 50s because of hair loss due to immune problem. When I hear women discussing their concerns about gray hair, I think would they like to trade places with me. No matter how nice a wig looks it never replaces the feel of having a full head of hair even gray hair.
I remember finding my first grey hair… a very coarse, wiry pure white… when I was around 40. I was thrilled! I’d EARNED that hair! 🙂 haha
I am a redhead, the color fading from auburn as a baby to light strawberry blond as an adult. Redheads do tend to just fade, not just totally get all new grey hair. I’ve noticed a lot more fading going on around my face… I’m 47 now. And I love it! 🙂
I’ve had some major health issues for over 20 years, so I’m just thankful God has given me life & strength to enjoy living & loving my family. I’ll take it… grey hair & all! <3
I have had my hair colored for several years and then my hairdresser passed away. 😥 It is so hard to find someone to trust with your hair so I decided I would just let my hair go gray. It went gray quickly just not evenly, and I still hadn’t found a hairdresser. My curious little grands kept asking about my hair. The last comment was from my 4 year old granddaughter…she said, “Grandmommy, why is your hair white right there? Did you paint it?” 😂🤣 So…I found a new hairdresser this week and she washed that ‘paint’ right outta my hair!😁
My hair was always black…which showed my first gray hairs in 4th grade! When I graduated from high school, my grandmother suggested that I start dying it—and since she was known to pull them out when I sat ahead of her in church, I took her advice. 😉
That was 30 years ago. I loved the way it looked those first days, but I hated the process. I was pretty sure I had a full head of gray hair, but I couldn’t imagine going through the skunk phase with the contrast I had. This fall, I found a stylist willing to give it a try. We started with a “frost” and worked our way to fully removing the color. I am not yet 50, but I now have a full head of my own natural brilliant white hair. And I am loving it! SO much easier to care for, and my hair feels healthier. I’ve thought about it for years, but the timing was right now. For anyone thinking about it—highly recommend trying it!
I think it’s OKHAY too have white hairs, it’s natural 😅. I’m right now 21 but sometimes don’t know how my mummy finds white hairs on hair. I never seen them, but then brother says there is one or two or five white hairs. And reaction iss like “cool down duh is just white HAIR not HAIRS🤭.
I don’t know how is feels to have white hairs, but I like it. I wish I should have white hairs on last day of college, see I will be the only different creature in the group pic of passouts😳😅🙃.
Hi, Anne !!
I’ve had gray hairs from probably collage on …. thanks, Daddy ….. and now have a significant area that my brother calls my “skunk stripe.” Hmph !! He’s younger and grayer than me. LOL !! I’ve never colored my hair and probably never will …My Mom passed with not ONE gray hair. Yay, Mom !! I turn 60 (yikes) this year …..guess I shouldn’t complain. =)
I loved this post, Anne! I let the pandemic and our move to a new town (and away from my niece who did such a great job with my hair!) be my excuse to see what color of hair God gave me. 🙂 I started highlighting my hair in my late twenties and have never gone more than a few months without that hair appointment. Turns out God has given me some silver highlights in those intervening years. And to think I’ve been PAYING for them all this time! My husband wasn’t sure what he thought about me going gray until I mentioned that it would save about $400 a year. Suddenly he thought going gray was a GREAT idea! LOL!
My hair is naturally a dark blonde I would say. I’ve been highlighting it since I was in my 20s. Because of the cost I sometimes go for a longer time between coloring, But I don’t really notice the grays yet except right at my forehead where I part my hair! I’m in my late 40’s so I think I’m doing pretty good.