Hey y’all! My friend Crystal is posting for me today. If you haven’t read her historical romance/mystery books, you should! Now here’s Crystal:
There is Only One Way to Do It
If we’ve not met, you probably don’t know that in addition to being the author of “Dangerously Good Historical Romance,” I am a full-time caregiver for my mother-in-love. As the only child of his legally blind mom, when my husband asked me to marry him, I knew that it wasn’t just a marriage between two people, it was essentially a marriage of three. (God, of course, is ALWAYS central to our marriage, but I’m just talking earthly beings.) We’ve all three lived together from day one of marriage, and the first time my husband and I will live alone together will be after our children have flown the nest and his mother has passed onto glory. While this can be a common practice in other countries or even our country’s past, it’s not something too common today. In fact, I often run into people who are horrified that we all live together. How on earth do you do it? How do you write AND take care of all her needs and your family’s needs?
There is only one answer I can give: God. It might sound like a trite answer, but since 2018 we have faced multiple major surgeries and recoveries with massive complications, a pulmonary embolism, a broken neck, a hiatal hernia that was bad enough to cause stomach acid to go in her lungs, eye cancer, and an overall decline in health—both physically and mentally. God is not a trite answer, my friends. He is my desperate-cling-to-only-way-I-can-get-through-this answer. It is only by His strength, mercy, power, guidance, and work in my heart that I can make it through the constant medical events while writing the books He dragged me kicking and screaming to write. (Publishing was never my original goal, but God demanded it of me, and eventually, I obeyed. But that is another story.)
Literally every story I’ve written for publication has been during one (or multiple) of the many crises listed above. Written in Secret, my newest release, was written during the season of her broken neck when literally her every (and I mean EVERY) need had to be met by me or someone I could get to give me a reprieve. It was one of the hardest caregiving seasons of my life, and in many ways, it broke me and my mental health. Complications bled into the next year while I attempted to write the next book. That hiatal hernia issue took surgery and a recovery that she really never came back from all the way. But we had a few months of “normal” life while I tried to mentally recover . . . and while I fought God on what the focus of book 2 would be. It shouldn’t surprise you or me, but He won. And that topic He wanted? Mental health. For my good and hopefully the good of future readers. While I thought writing Written in Secret was the hardest book of my career, book two has proven far more challenging on so many levels. I’m about to start writing book three, and I won’t lie . . . I’m a little scared to see what will next fall in our laps as I write. But whatever it is, I know I have my God and Savior as my answer for how to get through it.
I don’t share all this for sympathy but maybe as an encouraging commiseration with my fellow readers. All of us are facing challenges that wear us down, shake our faith, require us to readjust the plans, hopes, and dreams we had for our own lives, and live in complete dependence on a God, who sometimes asks of us more than we can handle. He does this because He wants us to have that complete dependence on Him–which if you’re anything like me, is ridiculously hard. I’m like the two-year-old who declares they can do it all themselves. That dependence is difficult, but when we lay it all down at His feet, our response to the circumstances becomes easier to bear, even if the circumstances do not change.
So how do you and I do it? There is only one answer: God. He is the true intersection of life, faith, and fiction in my life. Before I leave you, here are two sections of the Bible that have gotten me through those rough season, and a picture I recently took on an evening tour of Cincinnati when my aunt was visiting.
ALL of Psalm 27: https://www.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.27.1-14
2 Corinthians 4:1, 8-9, 15-18
“Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart . . . We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed . . . All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
May those verses grant you peace and comfort as you walk your own troubles, and may you remember that there is only one answer to how we do anything: God.
About Crystal Caudill:
Crystal Caudill is the author of “dangerously good historical romance.” Her debut novel, Counterfeit Love, was a 2023 Carol Award finalist, and her novella, “Star of Wonder,” won the 2024 Christy Award for short form. She loves history, hot tea, all things bookish, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. She is a stay-at-home mom, caregiver, and chaos organizer. When she isn’t writing, Crystal can be found hanging with her family and playing board games at her home outside Cincinnati, Ohio. Find out more at crystalcaudill.com.
I hope y’all enjoyed meeting Crystal and hearing a bit of her story. I’m still working my way through her first series, but I can’t wait to get to this new one!
Have you read any of Crystal’s books?
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Welcome to the blog, Crystal, and God bless you for the love and care you’ve shown your mother-in-law. What a testimony you are to other caregivers, and surely to your children. I’m so glad God has strengthened you and allowed you to write in the midst of it all. I know great will be your reward in heaven, but I hope here on earth too. Prayers as you continue to be a caregiver and put your truth in Him.
Thank you. It definitely is all Him, and I appreciate those prayers SO much!
Crystal, thanks for such an encouraging post reminding us to let go and depend on God to see us through. I chuckled at your analogy of being like a two-year-old who tries to do all by yourself…me and you both, sister! And to answer Di’Ann’s question, YES, I love Crystal’s books and can highly recommend them for beautiful writing, witty dialogue, and deep spiritual truths.
Thank you, my sweet friend. I often feel more like a two-year-old than a forty-year-old.
Yes, 👍🏻 have. Written in Secret sounds great!
Yay! I hope you enjoy it whenever you get to read it!
No, I did not know this about Crystal. What a blessing she is. I will certainly continue to pray for her as she follows God’s direction in her life. I am now inspired to read her books. I read her short story I agreed that it is an award winner.
Thank you so much for those prayers. They are definitely appreciated, and I’m so glad you enjoyed “Star of Wonder!”
Crystal, what an inspiration you are to so many. God is using you in ways you will never know this side of heaven. Thank you for your obedience in caring for your mother-in-law and for writing the stories God puts on your heart. You excel at both!Love you, sister!
Thank you so much, Deena! Love you too! Looking forward to seeing you in February, even if it is SOOOO far away!
Several of you already know her and love her books! That makes me happy! 🙂
Thank you so much for having me here, D’Ann!
Crystal, I recently discovered your books so am still on your first series but am loving it! Your newsletters are amazing! That you actually stop and pray for your newsletter recipients is HUGE! Don’t stop, and know that I am praying for you as well! I, too, once found myself in a care-giving season with my mother-in-law—-different circumstances and much shorter duration but still a blessing and a struggle. (She is now enjoying being fully healthy with her Savior.) I know that even through the trials, God is using this season to grow you and to richly bless you. When we reach the point where we realize that we are only making this work through the power of God working in us, we are forever changed. Blessings to you as you let God bless others through you!
Thank you so much for the encouragement, Amy, and thank you for being such an angel to your mother-in-law. It’s a special, albeit tiring, blessing that we are so blessed to do. Happy reading!